What Time Did the Ship Hit the Baltimore Bridge? A Tale of Nautical Nonsense
Let's be honest, you've probably seen the headlines: "Ship Crashes into Baltimore Bridge." It's like a real-life plot twist for a maritime disaster movie, minus the dramatic music and the gratuitous slow-motion shots. But here's the burning question that's been keeping everyone awake at night: What time did this aquatic catastrophe occur?
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| What Time Did The Ship Hit The Baltimore Bridge |
The Million-Dollar Question (or at least a few thousand dollars' worth of bridge repairs)
You'd think finding out the exact time a ship decided to play demolition derby with a bridge would be as easy as asking Alexa, "Hey, Alexa, when did that ship hit the Baltimore bridge?" But alas, Alexa seems to be on vacation in the Bermuda Triangle, because she's been about as helpful as a chocolate teapot.
QuickTip: Don’t just scroll — process what you see.
Some say it was midnight, when the world is shrouded in darkness and even the most seasoned captains might mistake a bridge for a giant, floating whale. Others claim it was 3 AM, the unholy hour when coffee is life and the only thing keeping ships afloat is sheer willpower. Personally, I'm leaning towards 2 AM, because let's face it, that's when most maritime mishaps happen. It's the perfect storm of fatigue, questionable decision-making, and a general disregard for the laws of physics.
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The Ship's Log: A Tale of Two Timers
If we could only get our hands on the ship's log, we might find the answer. But let's be real, the ship's log is probably as reliable as a politician's promise. It might say something like, "1:37 AM: Crew spotted a particularly large fish. Decided to take a closer look." Yeah, right.
Tip: The middle often holds the main point.
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The Bridge's Perspective: A Silent Witness
The bridge itself might have a few clues. If only concrete could talk, eh? It could tell us if it saw the ship coming, if it tried to dodge, or if it just gave up and accepted its fate. But until concrete develops a knack for storytelling, we're stuck with the mystery.
Tip: Pause if your attention drifts.
Let's Move On, Shall We?
Honestly, who cares what time it was? The bridge is broken, the ship is probably feeling pretty embarrassed, and we all need to find something else to obsess over. Like, maybe the best way to make avocado toast. Or the meaning of life. Anything but the time a ship hit a bridge.
How To...
- How to avoid becoming a ship captain: Find a career that doesn't involve staring at the ocean for hours on end.
- How to build a bridge that can withstand a ship collision: Hire an engineer who's also a superhero.
- How to make a nautical-themed cocktail: Rum, coke, and a tiny umbrella. It’s that simple.
- How to impress your friends with ship-related knowledge: Just say "Titanic" and wait for the applause.
- How to get over the fact that you'll never know the exact time the ship hit the Baltimore bridge: Accept that some mysteries are best left unsolved.
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