The Florida Face-Biter: A Totally Tubular Tale (That Took a Dark Turn)
Dude, we've all had those nights where the pizza tastes like sunshine and conspiracy theories sound plausible. But then there's Austin Harrouff, the Florida Face-Biter, whose night out went from "gnarly" to national news in the blink of an eye (or lack thereof).
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| What Was Austin Harrouff On |
From Frat Star to Face-Chewer: What Went Wrong?
Austin Harrouff, a seemingly normal Florida State University student, went off the deep end in 2016. After a night out (the details of which are as mysterious as a fraternity house basement), he attacked a random couple in their garage, then went full-on zombie on their faces. Think less "Thriller" dance moves, more "Dawn of the Dead" feeding frenzy.
The authorities arrived to find Harrouff chowing down like a particularly enthusiastic raccoon, completely unfazed by being shot with a taser (apparently, even electricity couldn't faze this wild dude). It took multiple officers to subdue him, and even then, the man wouldn't quit!
Tip: Slow down when you hit important details.
So, what fueled this face-eating frenzy? The initial guess was flakka, a street drug known for turning people into, well, not-so-chill versions of themselves. But nope, toxicology reports came back clean. This left everyone scratching their heads faster than a confused koala at a rave.
Turns out, the answer was way less "Miami Vice" and way more "Mental Breakdown." Harrouff was eventually diagnosed with acute psychosis, a severe mental episode that can cause hallucinations and a disconnect from reality. Not exactly the excuse you want to use at your next court hearing, but hey, at least it explains the whole face-eating thing.
QuickTip: Skim first, then reread for depth.
The Verdict is In (and it's Not Pretty)
Harrouff wasn't exactly chilling on a beach with a margarita after this. He pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity, which basically means "my brain was fried, judge, I blame the bad vibes." The court agreed, and instead of a lifetime in the slammer, Harrouff got a one-way ticket to a secure mental health facility.
So, that's the story of the Florida Face-Biter. A cautionary tale that reminds us all: nights out are fun, but maybe skip the mystery potion your sketchy friend offers.
QuickTip: Skim for bold or italicized words.
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How To Not Turn into a Florida Face-Biter: A Totally Tubular FAQ
1. How to know when a night out is getting weird? Easy! If you see a talking squirrel offering free existential advice, it's time to go.
2. How to deal with a friend who might be having a psychotic episode? Stay calm, call for help, and don't try to be a hero. You're not Rambo, you're just Steve from accounting.
QuickTip: Don’t rush through examples.
3. How to avoid getting bitten in the face (Florida or otherwise)? Maintain a healthy distance from people acting like rabid weasels. Also, consider wearing a helmet. You never know.
4. How to get help if you're struggling with mental health? There are tons of resources available! Talk to a doctor, therapist, or friend. There's no shame in reaching out for help.
5. How to tell the difference between a bad trip and a psychotic episode? If you're questioning reality itself, that's probably a bad sign. Trust your gut, dude.
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