Yellowstone: The Big One and the City of Angels
So, you’re sitting there, sipping your latte, minding your own business, and suddenly you hear the news: Yellowstone is erupting. Your first thought is probably, "Great, another thing to worry about." Your second thought is probably, "What does this mean for my avocado toast supply?"
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| What Would Happen To Los Angeles If Yellowstone Erupted |
A Volcanic Vacation? No Thanks!
Let’s talk about Los Angeles. The land of sunshine, celebrities, and traffic jams. A place where people wear sunglasses indoors and think a salad is a meal. Now imagine this paradise covered in a thick layer of volcanic ash. Not exactly the backdrop for your next Instagram post.
Tip: Don’t overthink — just keep reading.
Ash-tonishing Consequences
QuickTip: Absorb ideas one at a time.
First things first, that ash. Lots and lots of ash. It’s going to be like a never-ending snowstorm, but instead of cute little snowflakes, it’s tiny, abrasive particles that will clog everything from your car's engine to your lungs. Forget about breathing, driving, or even opening your eyes without goggles.
QuickTip: Every section builds on the last.
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Then there's the matter of the climate. Volcanic eruptions can cause global cooling. So, you might be trading in your flip-flops for mittens. And don't even get us started on the potential for acid rain. Your hair might get a chemical makeover, but it won't be the kind you wanted.
Tip: Reread sections you didn’t fully grasp.
Hollywood: A New Script
Let’s talk about the entertainment industry. No more outdoor shoots. Forget about filming car chases - the cars will be buried in ash. And don't expect any new reality shows about surviving in the wilderness. The wilderness will be right outside your door.
The Silver Lining (Maybe)
Okay, let’s try to find a silver lining. Maybe, just maybe, the eruption will create some incredible natural wonders. Like giant, ashy sculptures. Or maybe the ash will be really good for your skin? (We’re reaching here.)
How to Survive a Volcanic Apocalypse (Probably Not)
- How to survive a volcanic apocalypse: Good luck with that.
- How to prepare for a volcanic apocalypse: Stock up on dust masks, goggles, and canned food.
- How to find water after a volcanic apocalypse: Pray for rain. Or melt some snow. If there’s any.
- How to entertain yourself during a volcanic apocalypse: Learn to play the ukulele. Or write a screenplay. Or just stare out the window at the ash.
- How to rebuild after a volcanic apocalypse: Start with a solid foundation. And a really, really long shovel.
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