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So You've Kicked the Bucket in the Mile High City: A Guide to the Afterlife in Denver
Let's face it, shuffling off this mortal coil can be a real drag. No more craft beer, zero chance of conquering a mountain on a bike (unless you're a particularly determined ghost), and forget about that epic game you were planning to attend at Coors Field. But fear not, recently deceased Denverite! There's more to the afterlife in the Mile High City than meets the spectral eye.
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| What You Can Do In Denver When You're Dead |
Haunt the Hot Spots (But Be Polite):
Tip: Take a sip of water, then continue fresh.
- Larimer Square: Spook up the trendy bars and eateries. Just because you're incorporeal doesn't mean you can't appreciate the ambiance (and maybe give a friendly nudge to order the Rocky Mountain Oysters - payback's a you-know-what!). Pro-tip: Phantoms with a penchant for puns will love hanging out at The Syntax.
- The 16th Street Mall: Become a spectral shopper! Float past the bewildered tourists and window-shop at your leisure. Remember, though, possessing live bodies is highly frowned upon. Stick to the spooky window displays.
- Red Rocks Amphitheatre: Who needs a ticket when you're already transparent? Catch some killer concerts from the afterlife. Though, be warned, headbanging as a ghost can be a bit tricky.
Embrace Your Eerie Entertainment:
QuickTip: Save your favorite part of this post.
- Denver Art Museum: Channel your inner ghost-x-ray and get a good look at the insides of those mummies. They probably have some interesting stories to tell.
- Molly Brown House Museum: Molly Brown was a firecracker in life. Now that she's, well, not, see if you can stir up some spectral shenanigans in her historic home.
- The Denver Mint: Feeling a little… “spirited”? Maybe a little harmless haunting at the mint will satisfy your mischievous side. Just don't try and make off with any ghostly loot - that wouldn't be very sportsmanlike.
Don't Forget to Relax (as Much as a Ghost Can):
- Washington Park: Take a serene glide through the park and spookify the squirrels. They deserve a little fright for all those times they taunted your bird feeder in life.
- Chatfield State Park: Enjoy a spectral sunset over the water. Just don't get too close - being waterlogged (even as a ghost) is a real drag.
- Denver Botanic Gardens: Find some inner peace amidst the beautiful blooms. Though avoid scaring the koi fish - afterlife karma's a real thing.
Tip: Stop when confused — clarity comes with patience.
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FAQ: Your Afterlife in Denver
How to Haunt Politely?
QuickTip: Slowing down makes content clearer.
- A gentle moan or whoosh is all it takes. Screaming banshees are so last season.
How to Make Spectral Friends?
- Find a lively graveyard (there's always one!) and mingle. Just don't be a social butterfly - ectoplasm stains are a nightmare.
How to Avoid Being Banished Back to the Netherworld?
- No public indecency (moaning suggestively doesn't count as singing). Nobody wants to see that.
How to Pass Messages to the Living?
- Try flickering the lights or leaving cryptic messages steamed up on bathroom mirrors. Just be patient - the living are a bit slow on the uptake sometimes.
How to Have a Spooktacular Afterlife?
- Embrace your ghostly form! Float through life (well, afterlife) and enjoy the unique experiences Denver has to offer from the other side.
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