When the Hell is Slipknot Coming to Texas?
So, you're a Slipknot fan in Texas, huh? Join the club. We're all sitting here, twitching our masks and impatiently tapping our feet, waiting for the day those masked maniacs decide to grace our great state with their presence.
The Eternal Wait
I mean, seriously, it's like they're playing a cruel joke on us. They've been around for what feels like a century, and they've played everywhere except for our beloved Lone Star State. It's like they're intentionally avoiding us. Maybe they're scared of our BBQ or something.
I've tried everything to speed up the process. I've sent fan mail written in pig Latin, I've sacrificed a goat to the gods of metal (okay, maybe not), and I’ve even tried learning how to play the drums like Joey Jordison (spoiler alert: I failed miserably). Nothing seems to work.
Conspiracy Theories
Some people think it's a big conspiracy. Maybe there's a secret Slipknot fan club in Texas, and they're holding the band hostage until we learn to line dance. Or perhaps, they're waiting for the perfect storm: a full moon, a blood red sky, and a BBQ competition. Who knows?
The Silver Lining
Okay, let's be real. While we're all dying to see Slipknot live, there's a silver lining to all this waiting. It gives us plenty of time to perfect our mosh pit moves, grow our hair into a Corey Taylor-esque mullet, and master the art of crowd surfing.
And hey, maybe the anticipation is part of the fun. It builds the hype, you know? The longer we wait, the crazier the show is gonna be when they finally do come.
Until then, we can only hope and dream.
How to...
- How to survive the wait? Binge-watch Slipknot documentaries, learn their entire discography, and practice your best stage dive in your living room.
- How to increase your chances of getting noticed by Slipknot? Start a Slipknot cover band, tattoo their logo on your forehead, or send them a heartfelt letter written in blood. (Just kidding about the last one.)
- How to prepare for the ultimate Slipknot concert? Train for a marathon, invest in earplugs, and stock up on energy drinks.
- How to cope with disappointment if Slipknot never comes to Texas? Move to Iowa.
- How to find solace in the meantime? Enjoy the other amazing metal bands that do come to Texas. There's always something to mosh to!