Cicadas: The Uninvited Housewarming Party
So, You Think You're Ready for a Cicada Shower?
It’s that time of year again, folks. The ground is warming up, the birds are chirping, and the trees are starting to look suspiciously lumpy. That’s right, it's cicada season! And if you live in Chicago, get ready for a real party.
These bug-eyed, red-eyed, flying, singing creatures are about to descend upon the Windy City like a biblical plague of locusts – only less destructive (and way more annoying). It's like your backyard is about to host a massive, unplanned concert, and you didn't even get a plus-one.
When Exactly is This Cicada Carnival Happening?
Now, you might be wondering, "When exactly do these winged wonders plan to crash my peaceful existence?" Well, buckle up, because nature doesn't exactly stick to a strict schedule. Typically, cicadas emerge when the soil temperature hits around 64 degrees Fahrenheit. So, if you've been obsessively checking your weather app like I have, you know it's just a matter of time.
But don't worry, it's not like they're going to pop out of the ground fully formed and ready to party. There's a whole lifecycle thing going on. They spend years underground, sucking on tree roots and dreaming of their big day. Then, when the time is right, they crawl out, shed their skin, and become these big, clumsy, noisy adults. It's like a real-life version of "The Ugly Duckling," but with more exoskeletons.
How to Survive the Cicada Apocalypse
Okay, so you can't exactly stop the cicadas from coming. But you can definitely prepare for their arrival. Here are a few tips:
- Embrace the Noise: Earplugs, noise-canceling headphones, or simply moving to a remote cabin in the woods are your options. Or, you could try to appreciate the unique symphony of nature.
- Protect Your Plants: Cicadas love to lay their eggs in tree branches, which can cause damage. You can protect your plants by covering them with netting.
- Keep Your Cool: Remember, this is a temporary inconvenience. The cicadas will eventually move on. In the meantime, try to find humor in the situation.
And most importantly, don't panic! Cicadas are harmless to humans. They can't bite or sting, and they're not interested in eating your furniture. They just want to live out their short, noisy lives and then die. So, let's all try to coexist peacefully.
How To... Cicada Edition
- How to tell if a cicada is male or female? Male cicadas are the ones making all the noise. Females are quieter and have a saw-like structure on their abdomen used for laying eggs.
- How to protect your car from cicada damage? Park your car in a garage if possible. If not, cover it with a car cover.
- How to avoid getting hit by a falling cicada? Wear a helmet. Just kidding! But seriously, watch where you're walking.
- How to cook a cicada? While some people do eat cicadas, it's not recommended unless you're an expert in insect preparation.
- How to appreciate the cicada phenomenon? Take a deep breath, enjoy the unique experience, and remember that this too shall pass.
