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Houston: The Human Oven
Houston, we have a problem. And by problem, I mean it feels like Satan's personal sauna has decided to relocate to Texas. Is this what global warming feels like? Or is it just Houston being extra? Either way, I'm starting to question my life choices.
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| When Will The Heat Wave End In Houston |
When Will This Inferno End?
The burning question on everyone's lips (or rather, trying not to let them melt): When will this heat wave mercifully decide to pack its bags and head to a cooler climate? Like, Antarctica or something? Unfortunately, the weather gods seem to have a sick sense of humor and are laughing maniacally at our suffering.
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Pro Tip: If you see a weatherman smiling, run. That means trouble.
Survival Tips for the Houston Heat Wave
- Embrace Your Inner Lizard: Learn to bask in the sun like a pro. Just kidding, don't do that. You'll turn into a crispy critter.
- Hydration is Key: Drink water like it's your job. And your hobby. And your life purpose.
- Dress for Success (or Failure): Forget fashion, focus on function. Think loose, light-colored clothing and maybe a tiny personal fan.
- Indoor Activities Only: Become an expert in Netflix binging, video game marathons, and perfecting the art of napping.
- Find a Pool or a Lake: If you're lucky enough to have access to water, become a mermaid or merman. Or at least pretend to.
How to Stay Sane (ish)
- How to avoid sunburns: Apply sunscreen religiously. Think of it as armor for your skin.
- How to cool down without AC: Ice packs, cold showers, and frozen treats are your new best friends.
- How to stay hydrated: Carry a reusable water bottle everywhere. Infuse it with fruit for extra flavor.
- How to entertain yourself indoors: Explore new hobbies, read books, or learn a new skill.
- How to cope with the heat: Take breaks, listen to calming music, and practice relaxation techniques.
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