SantaCon 2023: Where Did All the Elves Go?
So, you want to know where SantaCon 2023 was, huh? Well, buckle up, because this is going to be a wild ride through the land of questionable fashion choices and questionable life decisions.
SantaCon: The Christmas Chaos You Didn't Know You Needed
For those living under a rock (or simply those who prefer their holidays quiet and serene), SantaCon is essentially a massive, adult-sized, day-long pub crawl where everyone dresses up as Santa Claus. Think of it as a Christmas-themed zombie apocalypse, but with less gore and more questionable beard glue.
Where Was the SantaCon Madness?
Now, let's get to the meat of the matter. SantaCon 2023 primarily took place in midtown Manhattan. It was like a red and white tidal wave, sweeping through bars and clubs, leaving a trail of jingle bells and questionable dance moves in its wake. But fear not, if you managed to escape the madness of midtown, you might have caught a glimpse of these jolly red suits venturing into the East Village.
How to Survive (or Avoid) SantaCon
If you’re planning to brave the SantaCon storm, here are a few tips:
- Wear comfortable shoes: You'll be doing a lot of walking and standing. Trust me, your feet will thank you.
- Layer up: You never know if you'll end up outside or in a crowded bar.
- Bring cash: Not all bars accept cards, and you don't want to be the Grinch who stole Christmas because you couldn't buy a drink.
And if you're more of a Grinch than a Santa, here's how to avoid the chaos:
- Stay indoors: It's a simple strategy, but it works.
- Watch from afar: Grab a cozy spot with a good view and enjoy the spectacle from a safe distance.
- Embrace the silence: Take advantage of the fact that most sane people will be hiding indoors.
How To... SantaCon Edition
- How to survive a SantaCon hangover: Plenty of water, greasy food, and a promise to never do it again.
- How to explain a SantaCon tattoo: "It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, I promise!"
- How to find your lost reindeer: Check under the nearest barstool.
- How to cope with seeing your boss dressed as an elf: Ignore it, pretend you didn't, and pray for a quick vacation.
- How to un-see the things you saw at SantaCon: Therapy, lots of therapy.