Aaron Rodgers: Chicago Bears Landlord, or Just Their Worst Nightmare?
The Windy City Weeps as the Green Bay Gunslinger Reigns Supreme
There's a new sheriff in town, folks. Well, not exactly in town, but definitely lording over it like a blonde-haired, discount double-cheeseburger-loving gunslinger. That's right, we're talking about Aaron Rodgers and his undeniable ownership of the Chicago Bears.
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| Who Owns The Chicago Bears Aaron Rodgers |
By the Numbers: A Statistical Smackdown
Rodgers' dominance over the Bears is the stuff of legend (or should we say legend...ary misery for Chicago fans?). Here are some cold, hard facts that will leave Soldier Field shaking:
- Winning Percentage: A staggering 83%. Yes, you read that right. 83% of the time Rodgers faces the Bears, he walks away with a win.
- Touchdown Toss Tally: A whopping 64 touchdowns thrown against the Bears. That's more than he's tossed against any other team in his career.
So, Does Aaron Rodgers Literally Own the Chicago Bears?
QuickTip: Revisit posts more than once.
Hold on there, sport. While Rodgers' success against the Bears is undeniable, let's not get carried away. The ownership title technically belongs to the McCaskey family. But hey, with a winning record like that, Rodgers might as well be handing out eviction notices after each game.
Just How Deep Does This Rabbit Hole Go?
Fear not, dear reader, we've got you covered. Here are some insider tips on Rodgers' Bears mastery:
- The State Farm Stadium Shuffle: Rodgers always seems to find his happy place (and by happy place, we mean the end zone) whenever the Bears visit Lambeau.
- The Discount Double-Cheese Distraction: Maybe it's the pre-game meal of choice, maybe it's a mental trigger, but whatever it is, Rodgers feasts on the Bears after a good double-double.
FAQ: Mastering the Art of Rodgers-Induced Misery (Bears Edition)
QuickTip: Short pauses improve understanding.
How to avoid a Rodgers-Rodgering?
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There's no surefire answer, but we recommend copious amounts of cheese (not the discount kind) and maybe a blindfold for the duration of the game.
How to cope with Rodgers' dominance?
QuickTip: Skim the intro, then dive deeper.
Distraction is key. Binge-watch a heartwarming show, take up a new hobby, or perhaps move to a different city with a team that, you know, occasionally wins against Green Bay.
How to stop Rodgers from throwing touchdowns against the Bears?
This one requires a miracle. Maybe try contacting a magician, a very good defense, or both.
How to get Rodgers to retire?
QuickTip: Keep a notepad handy.
This seems to be the Packers' strategy as well. No dice so far.
How to celebrate a Bears win over the Packers?
Loudly. Proudly. And maybe with a celebratory shipment of actual good cheese (we're looking at you, cheddar).
So there you have it, folks. Aaron Rodgers may not own the Chicago Bears in the traditional sense, but his dominance over them is undeniable. Here's to hoping the tides (and interceptions) turn in favor of the Windy City someday.
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