Who Shot the 7-Year-Old in Houston? A Mystery Wrapped in a Ridiculous News Cycle
Let’s talk about something as fun as a root canal: a 7-year-old getting shot in Houston. Yippee.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, this isn’t funny! Kids shouldn’t get shot!” And you’re absolutely right. It’s a tragic situation. But let's be honest, the news cycle around this has been about as subtle as a brick to the face.
The World’s Worst Game of Telephone
First, we had the initial report: "7-year-old boy shot in drive-by." Sounds bad, right? Like something out of a dystopian novel. Then the details started rolling in. The kid was at a garage sale. A garage sale! The kind of place where you buy old lamps and regret it later. And this innocent little dude gets caught in the crossfire.
The Suspects: A Whodunnit for the Ages
Naturally, the internet detectives jumped on the case. We had everyone from armchair psychologists to conspiracy theorists chiming in. "It was aliens!" one person suggested. Another claimed it was a time traveler trying to prevent a future war. I personally think it was the neighbor's cat, just trying to get back at the kid for stealing its tuna.
The Media Circus
Let's not forget the media. They were all over this like white on rice. Every news channel had a live feed from the crime scene (which was, let's remember, a garage sale). We were treated to endless footage of police cars and sad-looking reporters. It was like watching a really depressing soap opera.
So, Who Did It?
Your guess is as good as mine. The police are still scratching their heads. But one thing's for sure: whoever did it is a real piece of work. I mean, shooting a 7-year-old? That's a new low, even for Houston.
How to Stay Sane During a News Frenzy
- How to avoid becoming an armchair detective: Mind your own business.
- How to prevent your child from getting shot at a garage sale: Avoid garage sales.
- How to cope with the overwhelming amount of news coverage: Turn off the TV.
- How to find humor intragic situations: Don't. It's not healthy.
- How to help a community heal: Support local organizations working to prevent gun violence.