Sam Houston: The Lone Star State's Original Badass
So, you wanna know about Sam Houston? Well, buckle up, 'cause we're about to dive into some serious Texas history. But don't worry, I promise to keep it interesting (and maybe even a little funny).
The Man, the Myth, the Legend
Sam Houston wasn't your average Joe. This dude was a walking, talking legend. Born in Virginia, he packed up his bags and headed to Tennessee where he managed to become the governor. Yep, governor. But that wasn't enough for our Sam. He had bigger fish to fry, or rather, bigger states to conquer.
Texas Bound
Next stop: Texas. Now, this wasn't exactly the Lone Star State we know and love today. It was more like a wild frontier full of angry Mexicans and even angrier Texans. But Sam, being the badass he was, decided to throw his hat in the ring. He led the Texan army to victory at the Battle of San Jacinto, a clash that basically said, "Hey Mexico, we're out!"
President Houston? You Don't Say!
After securing Texas' independence, the people were so grateful they decided to make Sam their president. Twice! Can you imagine being so popular that you get elected president not once, but twice? Talk about job security.
A Man of Conviction
Now, Sam wasn't just about guns and glory. He was also a man of peace. When the Civil War was brewing, he tried his darnedest to keep Texas out of it. Unfortunately, his fellow Texans weren't as chill as him. They voted him out as governor, and that's when Sam decided to become a hermit and grow his hair out. Yep, you read that right.
Sam Houston: The FAQ
How to become a legendary Texan like Sam Houston?
- Step 1: Be incredibly brave and charismatic.
- Step 2: Lead an army to victory against a much larger force.
- Step 3: Become president. Twice.
- Step 4: Grow your hair out and become a hermit when things get tough. (Optional)
How to win the Battle of San Jacinto?
- Surprise your enemy with a surprise attack.
- Have a really motivated army.
- Don't underestimate the power of a good battle cry.
How to become president of Texas?
- Be incredibly popular.
- Win an election.
- Don't mess up too badly.
How to deal with a rebellious state?
- Try diplomacy first.
- If that doesn't work, grow a long beard and disappear into the woods.
How to grow a beard like Sam Houston's post-governor days?
- Just stop shaving. It's that simple.
