Rice vs. Texas: A Match Made in... Confusion?
Okay, so, let’s talk about this age-old question that has perplexed philosophers, sports analysts, and conspiracy theorists alike: Why does Rice play Texas? It's like asking why cats love tuna or why politicians love making promises they can't keep. It's just one of those things, right?
A Match Made in Football Heaven (Or Hell, Depending on Who You Ask)
Now, I know what you’re thinking: "This is football, not philosophy." And you're absolutely right. But there's something undeniably poetic about this matchup. It’s like watching a ballet dancer try to tackle a sumo wrestler. It’s a clash of cultures, a battle of titans (well, one titan and one really determined underdog).
But seriously, why? Why would a school known for its academic prowess willingly subject itself to the relentless pounding of a team that seems to have an endless supply of freakishly athletic humans? It’s like signing up for a marathon when you’ve only ever jogged around the block.
The JFK Factor
Of course, we can’t ignore the elephant in the room: JFK. The man who inspired a generation to reach for the moon also, unintentionally, sparked this epic rivalry. In his famous "We choose to go to the moon" speech at Rice University, he casually dropped the line, "Why does Rice play Texas?" It was a rhetorical question, people! A rhetorical question! But apparently, someone at Rice took it as a personal challenge.
So, Why Does Rice Actually Play Texas?
The real answer is probably a mix of tradition, masochism, and a deep-seated desire to prove everyone wrong. But hey, who are we to judge? This rivalry adds spice to college football, and that’s something we can all appreciate.
How To...
- How to survive a Rice vs. Texas game: Bring earplugs, a strong stomach, and a healthy dose of humor.
- How to become a Rice fan: Develop a thick skin, a love for underdogs, and a willingness to embrace disappointment.
- How to become a Texas fan: Be tall, fast, and incredibly confident. Also, have a lot of burnt orange clothing.
- How to predict the outcome of a Rice vs. Texas game: Flip a coin. Seriously, it's that unpredictable.
- How to appreciate the beauty of this rivalry: Recognize that it’s more than just a football game; it’s a cultural phenomenon.