The University of Chicago: My Unwanted Pen Pal
I’m starting to think the University of Chicago has a secret crush on me. Or maybe they're just really, really good at marketing. Either way, I’m beginning to feel like the unwanted child in a Hallmark movie, only instead of receiving endless boxes of chocolates and teddy bears, I'm getting a steady stream of glossy brochures and enigmatic postcards.
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| Why Does University Of Chicago Keep Sending Me Stuff |
The Paper Avalanche
It started innocently enough. A postcard with a quirky question. “What would Socrates order at Starbucks?” Okay, UChicago, you got me. I chuckled. Then came the brochures. Colorfully designed, they promised intellectual enlightenment and a life-changing experience. I was intrigued. But then, the frequency increased. Envelopes of varying sizes began appearing in my mailbox with alarming regularity. I've started to wonder if they're trying to paper my entire apartment.
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Is It Personal?
I’ve considered a few theories:
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- They’ve mistaken me for a prodigy: Perhaps they think I'm the next Einstein hiding in plain sight, waiting to be discovered.
- I'm on a secret watchlist: Maybe they're gathering intel on me for some top-secret government project.
- They're just really persistent: This is the most likely scenario. College admissions are competitive, and they’re not taking any chances.
What to Do with All This Paper?
I’ve contemplated various uses for this paper mountain:
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- Fort building: Create a cozy, intellectual fortress.
- Paper airplanes: Dominate the skies with academic superiority.
- Recycling: Do my part for the environment and maybe, just maybe, send a subtle message.
How to Deal with UChicago's Affection
If you're experiencing a similar deluge of mail, here are a few tips:
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- How to declutter: Recycle promptly or donate to a local school.
- How to respond: If you’re truly interested, explore their website. If not, ignore it.
- How to unsubscribe: While there might not be a direct unsubscribe option, you can try contacting their admissions office.
- How to find humor: Embrace the absurdity of it all. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
- How to make friends: Share your woes with fellow victims. You might find a surprising number of people in the same boat.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to apply to the University of Chicago is yours. But remember, even if you don't end up there, you'll always have the memories of that time your mailbox became a paper volcano.
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