Houston: The City That Never Sleeps... Unless It's Underwater
Houston, Texas: the land of opportunity, barbecue, and, apparently, aquatic adventures. You might be wondering why this city seems to have a recurring rendezvous with water. Is it a secret water park? A new extreme sport? Nope, it's just Houston being Houston. Let's dive in (pun intended).
Houston: The Groundhog Day of Flooding
If you’ve lived in Houston for more than five minutes, you’ve probably had to navigate a flooded street or two. It's like a rite of passage. You go from "Oh, great, another flood" to "I need a snorkel for my daily commute." But why, oh why, does this keep happening?
Blame it on the weather: Houston has a love-hate relationship with rain. We love the greenery it brings, but we really hate the, uh, everything else. The city gets a ton of rain, often in short, intense bursts. Our drainage system? Well, it's trying its best, but it's like trying to drain a bathtub with a teaspoon when a fire hose is turned on.
Blame it on the land: Houston is basically a giant pancake. Flat as a board. This means water doesn't really have anywhere to go. It just kinda hangs out, chilling in the streets, causing traffic jams and existential crises for drivers.
Blame it on us: Let's be honest, we humans aren't exactly helping. All that concrete and asphalt? It doesn't let water soak into the ground. It's like wearing a raincoat on a sunny day - it's just not necessary.
So, What Can Be Done?
Short answer: a lot, but it's complicated and expensive. We need better drainage systems, more green spaces to absorb water, and maybe a giant sponge to soak up the excess. But until then, we'll just keep buying kayaks and learning to swim.
How to Survive a Houston Flood (or at least not drown)
- How to choose a flood-safe house: Look for higher ground, or at least a house with a really good boat.
- How to build a Noah's Ark-sized closet: Stock up on rain boots, life jackets, and snacks that float.
- How to turn your car into a submarine: Just kidding, don't do that. Find higher ground.
- How to make friends with fish: They're surprisingly chill neighbors when you're stuck in a flooded house.
- How to embrace the aquatic lifestyle: Get a wetsuit, learn to scuba dive, and start a mermaid business.
So, next time you're cruising down a Houston street and suddenly find yourself in a makeshift swimming pool, remember: you're not alone. And hey, at least you have a good story to tell.
