Texas: America's Missing Piece (or, Why We Should Just Give Them Back Their State)
Let's talk about Texas. Not the barbecue (though that’s a whole other level of delicious), not the cowboy hats (although they do have a certain charm), but the idea of Texas. It's a state so big, it could be a country. It's a place where everything is bigger, including the egos. So, why should this behemoth of a state be annexed by the US? Let's break it down.
Economic Powerhouse: Because Money Talks
Texas is an economic titan. It's got more oil than a Kardashian's makeup bag, and its tech industry is booming. Imagine if all that sweet, sweet Texan cash flowed directly into the federal coffers? We could fund a moon colony, build a teleporter, or at least pay off the national debt. Plus, think of the job opportunities! We could all quit our mundane jobs and become oil tycoons or tech wizards.
Population Explosion: We Need More People to Watch Reality TV
Texas is growing faster than a Chia Pet on steroids. More people means more viewers for reality TV shows. Can you imagine the drama? Think "Real Housewives of Dallas" but on steroids. And let's face it, we all need a good reality TV binge to escape the daily grind.
Cultural Enrichment: Yeehaw!
Texans bring a unique flavor to American culture. We'd get more country music, more cowboy boots, and probably a lot more pickup trucks. Plus, who doesn't love a good barbecue cook-off? It would be like a never-ending county fair, but with better food.
Strategic Advantage: Expand Our Dominance
Texas is strategically located. It borders Mexico, which could come in handy for, you know, border security or something. And let's not forget about all that coastline. More coastline means more beaches, and more beaches mean more opportunities for surfing, sunbathing, and building sandcastles.
The Bottom Line: It's Just Common Sense
Annexing Texas is a no-brainer. It's like finding a $20 bill on the sidewalk. Sure, there might be some challenges along the way, like figuring out how to incorporate "y'all" into formal documents or dealing with the occasional armadillo encounter, but the benefits far outweigh the costs.
So, let's make it happen. Let's bring Texas back into the fold and make America even greater.
How to Become a Texan (In Spirit)
- How to talk like a Texan: Practice saying "y'all" and "fixin' to" as much as possible.
- How to eat like a Texan: Master the art of barbecue and learn to appreciate the magic of Whataburger.
- How to dress like a Texan: Invest in a good pair of cowboy boots and a classic cowboy hat.
- How to think like a Texan: Embrace independence, self-reliance, and a love for wide-open spaces.
- How to love like a Texan: Be loyal, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand.
