Is Billie Eilish Coming to Texas? A Tale of Woe and Hope
Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Or should I say, the Billie in the room?
The Billie Eilish Texas Drought
It's no secret that Texas has been experiencing a severe Billie Eilish drought. Like, we're talking Sahara Desert levels of dryness. While the rest of the country is soaking up the sweet sounds of our green-haired queen, we Texans are here, staring at our concert calendars like a lost puppy.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "But she played ACL!" Yes, yes, we know. But that was like a mirage in the desert. A brief, beautiful moment of hope, followed by the harsh reality of the ongoing drought.
Why, Billie, Why?
I've done my own little detective work (read: scrolled through countless Twitter threads) and here are the leading theories as to why Billie is giving Texas the cold shoulder:
- She’s saving herself for a bigger, better Texas show: Okay, this one is a stretch, but a girl can dream, right?
- She’s secretly a lizard person and is allergic to our humidity: This one is gaining traction, I swear.
- She's actually planning a surprise drop-in concert and is just building the suspense: Okay, this one is really a stretch.
What Can We Do?
We can't just sit around and wait for Billie to have a change of heart. We need to take action! Here are some ideas:
- Start a petition: Let's show Billie the power of Texas!
- Offer her a lifetime supply of Whataburger: Food is the way to a person's heart, right?
- Learn to play every Billie Eilish song on the ukulele: Dedication level:
In conclusion, we're all just a bunch of heartbroken Texans waiting for Billie Eilish to grace us with her presence. Until then, we'll just keep streaming "Bad Guy" on repeat and dreaming of the day we can sing along live.
How To...
- How to cope with the Billie Eilish Texas drought? - Find a supportive community of fellow fans, explore other artists, and remember, good things come to those who wait (hopefully).
- How to increase your chances of getting Billie Eilish concert tickets? - Be prepared to camp out online, use multiple devices, and consider ticket resale platforms (buyer beware).
- How to plan a Billie Eilish-themed party? - Decorate in green and black, play her music, and serve plenty of snacks.
- How to learn Billie Eilish's signature dance moves? - Watch her music videos repeatedly and practice in front of a mirror.
- How to show Billie Eilish some Texas love? - Send her heartfelt messages, share your favorite Texas memories, and let her know how much you want her to visit.
