Can't Believe It's Not Meat: A Carnivore's Nightmare (or a Vegan's Dream)
So, I recently stumbled upon this place called "Can't Believe It's Not Meat" in Chicago. Let me tell you, it's like stepping into a parallel universe where cows are actually happy, grass-munching creatures, and pigs are busy doing pig-like things, like rooting around in mud.
The Menu: A Mind-Boggling Experience
I mean, seriously, who would have thought that you could make something that looks, smells, and almost tastes like a juicy burger without, you know, actually using any meat? It's like culinary witchcraft. The menu is a rollercoaster of disbelief. You've got your "chik'n" sandwiches, "beefless" chili, and even "fish-free" filets. I'm not sure if I should be impressed or terrified.
- The Chik'n: I'm still not convinced it's not real chicken. The texture is spot on, and the crispy coating? Chef's kiss. But then I remember it's made from soy and wheat, and my brain explodes a little.
- The Beefless Chili: This one was a surprise. Hearty, flavorful, and packed with those little "meat" crumbles that look suspiciously like the real deal. If I didn't know better, I'd swear it was simmering for hours.
- The Fish-Free Filet: Okay, I'm officially baffled. How do they do it? It's flaky, it's got that "fishy" taste, and it even comes with tartar sauce. I'm starting to question my entire existence.
The Verdict: Meat-Free Marvel or Monstrosity?
Honestly, I'm torn. As a die-hard carnivore, I was expecting to be disappointed. But this place has managed to push the boundaries of plant-based food to a whole new level. It's like they've cracked the code to fooling your taste buds.
If you're a vegan or vegetarian, you're going to love it. If you're a meat-eater, I challenge you to try it with an open mind. You might just be surprised.
How to Navigate the Can't Believe It's Not Meat Menu
- How to order like a pro: Start with the classic burger or sandwich to get a feel for the flavors. Then, venture into the more adventurous territory of "beefless" chili or "fish-free" filets.
- How to impress your friends: Order the most outrageous item on the menu and pretend you're a seasoned vegan.
- How to save money: Go during happy hour and enjoy their plant-based versions of classic bar food.
- How to satisfy your cravings: Don't be afraid to mix and match. Create your own plant-based masterpiece.
- How to convert a meat-eater: Bring a skeptical friend and watch their mind explode.