Houston: The Snowless Wonder
Is Houston a Snow Globe or a Melting Pot?
Let’s talk about something Houston isn't famous for: snow. That’s right, folks. While the rest of the country is bundled up like Eskimos, we Texans are rocking our tank tops and shorts. It’s like Mother Nature has a personal vendetta against us and decided to skip us on the whole "winter wonderland" thing.
Snow in Houston? More Like Snow Joke
Now, before you start planning your epic snowball fight in NRG Stadium, let's get real. Snow in Houston is about as common as finding a four-leaf clover on a bald eagle. Sure, we've had a few flurries over the years, but those are more like nature's way of teasing us. It's like, "Hey Houston, just kidding! Here's a snowflake to keep you dreaming."
When Houston Actually Saw Snow
Believe it or not, there have been a few occasions when Houston has actually experienced real snow. People pulled out their winter coats (which, let’s be honest, are probably moth-eaten by now) and acted like they knew what to do. It was like watching a bunch of newborn deer trying to figure out how to walk.
Houston's Survival Guide to Snow
If by some miracle, Houston ever gets a proper snowstorm, here's a quick survival guide:
- Don't panic: This is new territory for everyone.
- Embrace the chaos: Build a snow fort out of your car.
- Stay hydrated: With all that excitement, you'll need to replenish those fluids.
- Invest in snow boots: Crocs just won't cut it.
- Find a warm place: Your car probably qualifies.
So, will Houston ever have a white Christmas?
Probably not. But hey, at least we don't have to shovel snow. That's one less chore, right?
How to Survive a Houston Snowpocalypse
- How to build a snow fort out of your car: Use blankets and pillows for insulation.
- How to make snow angels in 80-degree weather: Just pretend and hope no one notices.
- How to order hot chocolate when it's 75 degrees: Explain that you're from Alaska and it's tradition.
- How to convince your friends to go sledding on a cardboard box: Bribery works wonders.
- How to explain to your kids that Santa's reindeer can't fly in Texas: Blame global warming.