Bears in the Playoffs? A How-To Guide for Dreamers
Okay, let's talk turkey, or rather, let's talk Bears making the playoffs. I know, I know, it sounds like planning a vacation to Mars, but hear me out. This is less about cold, hard facts and more about the art of hopeful delusion.
Step 1: Ignore the Evidence
The first step to believing the Bears can make the playoffs is to simply ignore the evidence. Pretend you've never seen a Bears game. Imagine they're a secret super-team in disguise, waiting to unleash their true power. It's like those superhero movies where the underdog suddenly becomes invincible.
Step 2: Cultivate a Strong Belief System
Create a personal Bears mythology. Maybe they're cursed by a rival team's voodoo priest, or there's a secret Bear-shaped constellation that determines their fate. Whatever it is, believe in it wholeheartedly. Faith can move mountains, or at least, convince you that the Bears can beat the Packers.
Step 3: Surround Yourself with Optimists
Seek out fellow Bears fans who are as delusional as you are. Join online forums where everyone's a GM, and every trade is a genius move. Misery loves company, but optimism is way more fun.
Step 4: Master the Art of Selective Memory
Remember that one time the Bears almost won? Or that player who looked really good for one quarter? Focus on these moments like they're the gospel truth. Ignore the countless losses, fumbles, and interceptions.
Step 5: Embrace the Power of Positive Thinking
Visualize the Bears hoisting the Lombardi Trophy. Feel the joy, the excitement, the pure ecstasy. The more you visualize it, the closer you'll get to... well, probably not the Super Bowl, but hey, you never know.
How to...
- How to handle Bears fans who aren't buying it? Ignore them. They're just jealous of your optimism.
- How to deal with the inevitable disappointment? Start planning next year's playoff run immediately.
- How to keep your hopes alive during a losing streak? Blame the refs, the weather, or the opposing team's lucky socks.
- How to survive Monday mornings after a Bears loss? Coffee, lots of coffee. And maybe a little therapy.
- How to maintain your sanity as a Bears fan? Lower your expectations. Or, you know, find a new hobby.
Remember, hope is a powerful thing. And sometimes, even the most absurd hopes can bring a little joy to our lives. So keep believing, Bears fans! One day, our dreams might just come true.