How to Watch the Chicago Cubs Today: A Survival Guide for the Desperate Fan
So, you're a Cubs fan. Bless your heart. It’s like being a masochist who enjoys getting their hopes up only to have them crushed like a Wrigley Field hot dog. But hey, we're all here for the rollercoaster, right? Let’s figure out how to watch these lovable losers today.
Option 1: The Classic Cable Conundrum
If you're still clinging to the dinosaur age of cable, congratulations on being a trendsetter! You might be able to find the Cubs game on a channel called "Marquee Sports Network." It's like finding a needle in a haystack, but with less disappointment.
Pro Tip: Don’t blame your cable provider for not finding the channel. They probably don't want to watch the Cubs lose either.
Option 2: Streaming Salvation
Ah, the digital age. A time where you can watch cat videos, order takeout, and somehow, watch baseball. Here are a few potential lifelines:
- FuboTV: This streaming service is like a buffet for sports fans. You get a bunch of channels, including Marquee Sports Network (if you're lucky). But be warned, it's like trying to find a parking spot at Wrigley on a game day – it can be a hassle.
- YouTube TV: Another streaming option, but don't get too excited. Availability of Marquee Sports Network can vary by location. It's like playing baseball in the outfield – you never know where the ball is going to land.
- MLB.tv: This is your last resort. It's like watching a baseball game on mute with subtitles – you get the gist of it, but it's not the same. Plus, you'll probably miss out on the sweet, sweet sounds of the crowd booing.
Option 3: The Desperate Measures
If all else fails, there's always the tried and true method of listening to the game on the radio. It's like watching a silent movie – you use your imagination. Or, you could just pretend you're at the game and make your own commentary. Something like, "Oh, he swung and missed! What a surprise!"
Remember: If you do decide to watch the game, prepare yourself for heartbreak. It's like ordering a pizza and finding out they're out of your favorite topping. But hey, at least you got pizza.
How to...
- How to avoid disappointment: Lower your expectations.
- How to survive a Cubs loss: Find a good therapist.
- How to pretend you're at the game: Buy a hot dog, wear a Cubs hat, and yell at the TV.
- How to find hope: Focus on the cute mascot, Clark the Cub.
- How to cope with the inevitable rebuild: Start planning your fantasy football draft.