How to Watch the Houston Astros: A Survival Guide for the Desperate Fan
So, you're an Astros fan, huh? Well, welcome to the club of the obsessed, the hopeful, and the occasionally heartbroken. Watching the Astros is like riding a rollercoaster – full of ups, downs, and the occasional loop-de-loop that leaves you questioning your life choices. But fear not, fellow space cowboy, we're here to guide you through the cosmic journey of watching your favorite team.
Where to Find Your Astros Fix
Cable Cutters Rejoice (Kinda) If you've proudly joined the cord-cutting revolution, you might feel like you've traded in your cable box for a black hole of sports content. Don't panic! There are still options.
- Streaming Services: Platforms like YouTube TV, Hulu + Live TV, and fuboTV offer packages that include regional sports networks (RSNs), which is where you'll likely find most Astros games. Just be prepared to pay a pretty penny for the privilege.
- MLB.TV: This is a great option if you're willing to embrace the blackout restrictions. If you live outside the Houston area, you can watch most games, but don't expect to see your local heroes when they're playing at home.
The Dark Side: Illegal Streaming We're not going to condone piracy, but let's be real, it exists. There are countless websites and apps that claim to offer free streams of sports events. But proceed with caution: these platforms are often unreliable, full of ads, and could potentially expose you to malware. It's like playing Russian roulette with your computer.
Essential Astros Viewing Tips
- Stock Up on Snacks: You're going to need fuel for all the highs and lows.
- Find a Good Beer: Or your preferred beverage of choice. It helps.
- Learn the Language: If you don't know what a "slider" or a "walk-off home run" is, it's time to brush up.
- Embrace the Rituals: Whether it's wearing your lucky jersey or doing a pre-game dance, find something that brings you good vibes.
- Prepare for Heartbreak: The Astros are a great team, but baseball is a cruel mistress.
How to... Astros Edition
How to survive an Astros losing streak?
- Find a hobby. Seriously. Anything.
How to deal with an Astros playoff loss?
- Therapy. Lots of it.
How to explain baseball to a non-fan?
- Good luck with that.
How to avoid getting into an argument with a Yankees fan?
- Stay away from social media.
How to celebrate an Astros World Series win?
- Plan a parade, even if you're the only one attending.