How Do Celebs Get Around NYC? A Deep Dive (or Shallow Puddle)
New York City, the concrete jungle where dreams are made (and broken by crippling rent), is also a celebrity hotspot. So, how do these shiny people navigate the city that never sleeps without turning into a human traffic jam? Let's dive in, shall we?
The Classic: The Black Car
Ah, the classic black car. It's like the celebrity uniform of transportation. You see them everywhere, from the Upper East Side to SoHo, looking as mysterious and alluring as a freshly unwrapped gift. Inside, it's probably a world of plush leather, tiny TVs, and the faint smell of expensive cologne. Or maybe just stale popcorn. You never know.
Pro Tip: Don't try to flag one down. You'll just look like a desperate fanboy.
The Upgrade: The SUV
For those celebs who need a bit more space (or ego), the SUV is the go-to. It's like a mobile fortress, protecting them from the paparazzi and the rest of us mere mortals. Plus, it's probably got better legroom than your apartment.
Fun Fact: Some celebs even have their SUVs customized with special features like bulletproof windows and oxygen tanks. Because, you know, just in case.
The Incognito Option: Public Transportation
Okay, hear me out. Some celebs actually take the subway or bus. It's like a real-life episode of "Undercover Boss," but with better outfits. Can you imagine Brad Pitt squeezed between you and a guy eating a pastrami sandwich? It's a mental image I can't shake.
Challenge Accepted: Try to spot a celeb on the subway. It's harder than you think.
The Eco-Friendly Choice: Bikes and Scooters
Some celebs are trying to be cool and green by opting for bikes or scooters. It's a good look, but let's be honest, it's probably more about staying fit than saving the planet. Still, props to them for trying.
Side Note: Imagine seeing Ryan Reynolds whizzing past you on a scooter. Your life would be instantly better.
The "I'm Too Important" Option: Helicopters
When time is of the essence (or you just really hate traffic), a helicopter is the way to go. It's like something out of a superhero movie, except the hero is probably late for a red carpet event.
Questionable Life Choice: Wanting to live in a city so bad that you need a helicopter to get around.
How to...
- How to spot a celeb in NYC: Keep your eyes peeled, especially in trendy restaurants, theaters, and parks.
- How to behave when you see a celeb: Act cool, take a discreet photo, and for the love of God, don't scream.
- How to get a celeb to notice you: Become famous yourself. Or win the lottery and buy a billboard with your face on it.
- How to become a celebrity bodyguard: Be tall, intimidating, and really good at Krav Maga.
- How to avoid being paparazzi'd: Wear a paper bag over your head. Or become really, really boring.