The Big Apple, Big Changes: How Parents Screw Up (or Not) Their Kids in NYC
So, your folks decided to swap their comfy suburban life for the concrete jungle. Brave or insane? Let’s explore the potential outcomes for their offspring.
The Prodigal Son (or Daughter)
Scenario: The golden child
This kid was probably the favorite anyway. Moving to NYC might actually boost their ego. They’ll be surrounded by people who are just as self-absorbed, so they’ll fit right in. Expect them to start dropping terms like "curate" and "synergy" into casual conversations. They might even become a pretentious barista.
Scenario: The rebel
Good news for the parents! This kid will probably use the city as a giant middle finger. Expect dyed hair, questionable fashion choices, and a newfound love for obscure underground music. They might even start a band. Or become a tattoo artist. Or both.
The Middle Child: The Forgotten Victim
Oh, the middle child. The invisible one. Moving to NYC might be their big break. No longer overshadowed by their siblings, they can finally shine. Or, they might become a nervous wreck due to the constant hustle and bustle. Maybe they'll find solace in pigeons. Who knows?
The Baby of the Family: The Accidental Hipster
This kid is too young to know any better. They're going to soak up the city like a sponge. Expect them to develop an unhealthy obsession with street food, vintage clothing, and indie films. They might even start a blog. Or become a social media influencer. Or both.
Parental Influence: The X Factor
- Overprotective Parents: Their kid will either become a sheltered bubble or a rebellious spirit.
- Free-Range Parents: This could go either way. The kid might thrive with independence or become a lost soul.
- Workaholic Parents: Expect a lonely kid who becomes obsessed with screens. Or, they might become incredibly self-sufficient.
- Hipster Parents: Their kid will probably grow up to be a barista.
Remember: Every kid is different, and NYC is a crazy place. The only guarantee is that things are going to be interesting.
How to... Survive Your Parents' NYC Move
- How to deal with your parents becoming instant foodies: Embrace it. You'll never go hungry again.
- How to prevent your parents from becoming obsessed with Broadway: Earplugs. Lots of earplugs.
- How to survive endless tourist requests: Invest in a good pair of headphones.
- How to stop your parents from complaining about the noise: Suggest they move to the suburbs.
- How to maintain your sanity: Book a one-way ticket to Tahiti.