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How to Not Get Busted for Not Paying Your Bus Fare in NYC
So, you're in the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps. Or maybe it does, but you're too busy trying to figure out how to pay for the bus to notice. Don't worry, we've all been there. Let's break down the mysteries of NYC bus fare payments.
The Good Old Days (or Not So Good)
Remember when you could just hop on a bus like it was your grandma's couch? Those were the days, right? Well, unless you got caught by the bus conductor, who looked like they were auditioning for a Scorsese movie. Now, it's all about cards, taps, and coins.
Your Payment Options: A Quick Breakdown
- MetroCard: This is like the old-school cool of bus payments. You swipe it, and voila, you're in. Just make sure it doesn't have a negative balance, or you'll be that person blocking the bus door while trying to figure out your life.
- OMNY: Think of it as the millennial version of the MetroCard. Tap your phone, watch, or card, and you're good to go. It's like magic, but without the wand.
- Cash: Yes, you can still use coins. But let's be real, who carries around enough quarters to pay for a bus ride these days? It's like trying to find a payphone.
Select Bus Service (SBS): A Whole New Ball Game
If you're lucky enough to be on an SBS bus, you can pay before boarding at a vending machine. It's like a pre-party for your bus ride. Just don't forget your receipt, or you'll be having a chat with the bus police.
Tips and Tricks (That Might or Might Not Work)
- Master the Art of Distraction: If you're short on cash, try starting a conversation with the person next to you about quantum physics. By the time they realize you haven't paid, the bus will be at your stop.
- Become a Human Statue: Stand perfectly still, like a mannequin. Maybe the bus driver will think you're part of the decor.
- Practice Invisibility: This one is still in development, but early tests are promising.
How to...
- How to avoid a $100 fine: Pay your fare. It's really that simple.
- How to make friends on the bus: Strike up a conversation about the best pizza place in town.
- How to survive a long bus ride: Bring a good book, headphones, or a really good daydream.
- How to find the right bus: Use Google Maps or the MTA app.
- How to not be that person who blocks the bus door: Figure out your payment situation before you board.