Riding the Rails: A Houston Metro Survival Guide
So, you wanna hop on the Houston Metro, huh? Good for you! You're about to embark on a thrilling adventure that involves public transportation, which is basically like trying to herd cats, but with less fur and more awkward silence. Let's dive in, shall we?
Getting Started: It's Not Rocket Science (But Almost)
First things first, you need to know where you're going. Houston’s Metro system consists of three lines: the Red, Green, and Purple. They’re color-coded, so even if you're colorblind, you can probably figure it out. Just don't ask me to explain the route, I'm still trying to figure out which way is north.
Once you've plotted your course, you'll need to get a fare card. It's like a magic ticket to ride, but without the golden chariot and the fairy godmother. You can get one at various stations or online. Just don't lose it, or you'll be stuck staring at the train like a sad puppy.
Boarding the Beast: Hold On Tight!
Now comes the fun part: boarding the train. It's like trying to get on a crowded elevator, but with less perfume and more interesting characters. Find a spot to stand, or if you're lucky, a seat. Just remember, if you're planning on reading a book, bring a neck brace. The train might decide to do some unexpected yoga poses.
Etiquette 101: Don't Be That Guy
Let's talk about manners. Yes, even on a train. Avoid loud phone conversations about your grandmother's colonoscopy. Don’t eat smelly food. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t put your feet up on the seat. Your mom doesn't work here.
The Fine Art of Getting Off
Exiting the train is like trying to escape a crowded mosh pit. Just remember to stand near the door, and don't push. And if you're the last one off, don't feel bad. You're just practicing your patience.
How to...
- How to avoid rush hour: It's simple: don't ride the train during rush hour. But if you must, bring a good book, a podcast, or a strong drink (just kidding about the last one).
- How to find your way: Use the Metro app. It's like having a personal GPS for train nerds.
- How to stay entertained: People watching is always a good option. Or you could try counting the number of people wearing hats.
- How to make friends: Strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers. Just be prepared for awkward silence.
- How to survive a long ride: Bring snacks, water, and your favorite playlist. And maybe a change of clothes, just in case.
So there you have it, a crash course in Houston Metro riding. Remember, it’s an adventure, and like all adventures, there will be ups and downs. But hey, at least you're saving money on gas!
