Chicago: The Windy City... and Apparently, the Wide City Too
So, you wanna know how far west Chicago goes? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to embark on a journey that'll make Lewis and Clark look like couch potatoes.
How Far West Does Chicago Go |
Chicago: A Geographic Enigma
Let's get one thing straight: Chicago is not just a city, it's a concept. A concept that seems to stretch on forever, like a never-ending pizza party. You'd think it would end at some point, right? Like, maybe where the skyscrapers give way to cornfields or something. Nope. Chicago just keeps going, like a determined marathon runner who's secretly on a sugar high.
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The Great Western Frontier of Chicago
Now, you might be thinking, "Okay, smart guy, just tell me where it ends!" Well, that's where things get tricky. It's like trying to find the end of a rainbow - it's always just out of reach. Officially, Chicago ends somewhere around O'Hare International Airport, a place so massive it probably has its own time zone. But hey, who's to say it stops there? Maybe there's a secret Chicagoan colony living in the Badlands, raising deep-dish pizza cattle.
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Don't Believe the Maps
Maps are liars. They'll tell you Chicago ends at some arbitrary point, but don't you believe it. Every time you think you've reached the edge, another suburb pops up, like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole. It's like Chicago is a black hole, sucking in everything in its path. And we're all just along for the ride.
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So, How Far West is Too Far West?
The real question is, do you want to know? Because once you start venturing west of Chicago, there's no turning back. You'll encounter strange customs, like eating deep-dish pizza with a fork and knife, and people who actually enjoy sports that involve balls. It's a dangerous world out there.
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How To... Chicago Western Edition
- How to find the edge of Chicago: Good luck with that. You might find it easier to find Bigfoot.
- How to survive a Chicago winter in the western suburbs: Invest in a heated igloo and a lifetime supply of hot chocolate.
- How to order pizza in the western suburbs: Be prepared to explain what deep-dish is.
- How to avoid getting lost in the maze of Chicago suburbs: Bring a GPS, a compass, and a really good sense of direction.
- How to appreciate Chicago's vastness: Embrace the chaos. After all, variety is the spice of life (and traffic).
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