LA's Football Drought: A Comedy of Errors
So, You Think You Know Football?
Let’s talk about a time when the city of angels was more like the city of football orphans. We’re talking about the period when Los Angeles, the land of sunshine, celebrities, and overpriced avocado toast, was tragically deprived of its beloved gridiron glory.
A Quarter Century of Football Fasting
Believe it or not, there was a time when the phrase "Los Angeles football" was an oxymoron. From 1995 to 2015, the City of Angels was in a football black hole. It was like a fashionista without a closet, a Kardashian without a selfie stick, or a vegan without kale – unthinkable!
Why, Oh Why, Did This Happen?
You might be wondering what caused this football famine. Well, it was a perfect storm of stadium disputes, owner greed, and the NFL's apparent desire to punish one of its biggest markets. Basically, everyone involved acted like they were auditioning for a reality show called "Football Feud."
The Return of the King (and Another Guy)
Thankfully, the football gods had mercy on LA. In 2016, the Rams returned, bringing with them the promise of Super Bowl glory (which they eventually delivered, thank goodness). And just to rub salt in the wounds of other cities, the Chargers decided to join the party a year later.
So, while the drought was long and painful, it seems like the football gods have finally seen fit to bless Los Angeles with a double dose of pigskin action.
Now, let’s get to the important questions:
How to Overcome the Trauma of Being an LA Football Fan During the Dark Ages?
- Therapy helps. A lot.
- Invest in other hobbies, like knitting or birdwatching.
- Learn to appreciate other sports, like underwater basket weaving.
How to Pretend You Were a Die-Hard Fan During the Football-Less Years?
- Start wearing questionable jerseys.
- Develop an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure football trivia.
- Practice your best "I-was-there" stories.
How to Avoid Getting Caught Up in the LA Football Hype Machine?
- Unfollow all sports accounts on social media.
- Move to a remote island without internet.
- Embrace a life of quiet contemplation.
How to Survive Tailgating in LA Traffic?
- Leave home a week early.
- Pack a camping tent and supplies.
- Become best friends with the Uber driver.
How to Afford Tickets to an LA Football Game?
- Win the lottery.
- Sell your soul (figuratively speaking, of course).
- Start a GoFundMe campaign.
