How Long Does It Take to Become a New Yorker? A Scientifically Inaccurate Guide
So, you've decided to trade in your sensible shoes for combat boots and your pumpkin spice latte for a bodega coffee. Welcome to the concrete jungle! You're probably wondering, "How long until I can officially call myself a New Yorker?" Well, grab a slice of pizza and let's dive in.
The Myth of the Ten-Year Rule
Let's address the elephant in the room: the infamous ten-year rule. According to urban legend, you need a solid decade of dodging rats, paying exorbitant rent, and complaining about the subway to officially earn your New Yorker badge. But let's be real, who has time for that? Some people are born with the New York state of mind, while others develop it after a single near-death experience on the sidewalk.
The Real Deal: It's All About Attitude
The truth is, there's no magic number when it comes to becoming a New Yorker. It’s more about mindset than mileage. If you can confidently navigate the subway without a map, order a pastrami on rye with mustard on the side, and complain about the noise level with a hint of pride, you're well on your way.
- You know you're a New Yorker when: You've had a heated argument with a stranger about the best pizza place and you actually care about the outcome.
- You know you're a New Yorker when: You've developed a deep-seated love-hate relationship with the city and can't imagine living anywhere else.
- You know you're a New Yorker when: You've mastered the art of people-watching and can accurately guess someone's life story based on their outfit.
Accelerate Your New York-ification
Want to speed up the process? Here are a few tips:
- Embrace the hustle: Walk fast, talk fast, and eat fast.
- Develop a thick skin: People in New York don't sugarcoat things.
- Learn to love public transportation: You'll spend a lot of time on it.
- Support your local bodega: They're your lifeline.
Remember, becoming a New Yorker is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the ride!
How To Become a New Yorker FAQ
- How to dress like a New Yorker: Layer up, wear black, and invest in comfortable shoes.
- How to talk like a New Yorker: Drop your vowels and add a touch of attitude.
- How to survive the subway: Learn the routes, avoid rush hour, and always have a good book.
- How to find the best pizza: Try different places and form your own opinion.
- How to appreciate New York's beauty: Look up at the skyscrapers, explore the parks, and soak up the energy.
