The National Guard: NYC's Unexpected Roommates
So, the National Guard has decided to crash the ultimate house party: New York City. Who invited them? Did they RSVP? Do they even know how to recycle? Questions, questions.
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| How Long Will The National Guard Be In Nyc |
How Long Are They Staying?
This is the burning question, isn’t it? Like, are we talking a weekend getaway, a month-long vacation, or a full-on squatters' rights situation? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. They've rolled in with their duffle bags and a serious case of "we're here to help," but nobody seems to have given them a concrete eviction notice.
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It's like that one friend who shows up unannounced, makes themselves at home, and starts helping themselves to your fridge. You're polite, but internally you're screaming, "Dude, get out!" But with the National Guard, it's a bit more complicated. They're armed, for one. And they're technically helping with something. So, we’re stuck in this weird limbo of gratitude and mild annoyance.
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What Do They Even Do All Day?
We've seen them standing around, looking serious. We've seen them checking bags. But what's the full-time job description here? Are they ghostbusters, fashion consultants, or just really enthusiastic subway riders? Do they get paid in pizza or heartfelt thank-yous? The world may never know.
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One theory: they're secretly auditioning for a new reality show called "Real Housewives of the National Guard." Imagine the drama!
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Will This Turn into a Jersey Shore Situation?
Okay, maybe that's a stretch. But with any group of people thrown together in close quarters, there's bound to be some tension, right? Will we have a "GTL" situation (Gym, Tan, Laundry) but with camo and Kevlar? Will there be fist pumps and overly tanned commanders? Only time will tell.
So, When Can We Order Them a One-Way Ticket?
Look, we appreciate the sentiment, but we’re starting to miss the good old days of random subway encounters and questionable pizza choices. Can we please get back to normal life, whatever that is anymore?
How To... Questions About the National Guard Situation
- How to tell if a National Guard member is secretly a superhero: Look for a cape. Or really, really good aim.
- How to politely ask the National Guard to leave your subway car: Offer them a slice of pizza and hope for the best.
- How to become best friends with a National Guard member: Bring doughnuts. Everyone loves doughnuts.
- How to avoid getting caught in a National Guard training exercise: Pretend to be a tourist and ask for directions.
- How to explain to your kids why there are soldiers on the subway: Just say they're filming a new action movie.
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