How Many Assyrians Are Actually in Chicago? A Deep Dive (or Not)
So, you wanna know how many Assyrians are chilling in the Windy City, huh? Well, buckle up, because this is about as deep as a kiddie pool.
Chicago: The Assyrian Capital of the Midwest?
Let's get one thing straight: Chicago is not Atlantis. We can’t just summon a number out of thin air. But, it is home to a pretty sizable Assyrian community. We're talking enough people to fill a decent-sized Assyrian wedding hall (and trust me, those things are packed).
According to the extremely reliable source of my brain, which is as accurate as a drunk uncle's memory, the Assyrian population in Chicago is somewhere between "a lot" and "really, really a lot."
But seriously, estimates put the number around the 100,000 mark. That’s a whole lot of people who can probably make some mean Assyrian cuisine.
Why So Many Assyrians in Chicago?
Good question, hypothetical curious person. It's like asking why cats love boxes. Some things are just meant to be. But if we’re going to get serious for a second, the Assyrian community in Chicago has a rich history. They've faced their fair share of challenges, but they've also built a thriving community.
Finding Your Assyrian Tribe in Chicago
Okay, so you're convinced there are a bunch of Assyrians in Chicago and you want to find your people. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Just start by looking for places with names like "Beth Nahrain" or "Assyrian Village." Or, you could try asking someone if they know where to get good kubba. That usually works.
Remember: Assyrians are known for their hospitality, so don't be shy!
How to... Assyrian Edition
Now, for some quick tips on how to be an honorary Assyrian (or at least pretend to be one at a party):
- How to pronounce Assyrian: It's ah-SIR-ee-an. Not a-SIR-ee-an.
- How to eat kubba: With gusto. It's delicious.
- How to dance to Assyrian music: Just move your body. Everyone will think you're a pro.
- How to find an Assyrian friend: Go to an Assyrian event. Or, just start talking about ancient Mesopotamia.
- How to appreciate Assyrian culture: Immerse yourself in it! Learn about their history, try their food, and listen to their music.
So there you have it, a brief and informative guide to the Assyrian population of Chicago. Remember, numbers are just numbers, but the community is what truly matters.
Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. Actual Assyrian population numbers may vary.
