How Many Times Can They Possibly Kill Them?
So, you’re sitting there, minding your own business, and suddenly the question hits you: How many Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies are there? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to dive into the murky waters of chainsaw-wielding madness.
A Family Affair (of Horror)
Let's get one thing straight: The Sawyer family is NOT a normal family. They're the kind of folks who make the Kardashians look like the Waltons. Their family reunions involve more power tools than a Home Depot and less hugging than a cactus. And somehow, Hollywood keeps finding new and inventive ways to keep this dysfunctional bunch in the spotlight.
Counting Chainsaws: A Herculean Task
Trying to count the exact number of Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies is like trying to count the grains of sand in Texas - it’s a fool’s errand. There are the obvious ones, like the original classic that made us all question the safety of rural areas. Then there are the sequels, prequels, remakes, and reboots. It’s like a never-ending horror buffet.
- The Core Four: Let's start with the basics. There are the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, its equally bonkers sequel, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and the slightly less bonkers Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.
- The New Kids on the Block: Then came the 2003 remake, which was like a shiny new chainsaw, all sharp and exciting. And let's not forget The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, which is basically a "how-to" guide for aspiring serial killers (not recommended).
- The Never-Ending Saga: More recently, we've had Texas Chainsaw 3D and Leatherface. And who knows, maybe there's a Texas Chainsaw Massacre in Space in the works. Because why not?
Leatherface: The Energizer Bunny of Horror
The real star of this show is, of course, Leatherface. This guy is more persistent than a telemarketer. He’s been through more facelifts than a Kardashian, but he just keeps on chugging, chainsaw in hand.
FAQ: Chainsaw Edition
- How to survive a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie? Hide in a really big freezer. Or become a vegetarian.
- How to become Leatherface? Don’t try this at home. Or anywhere, really.
- How to tell if a movie is a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie? If there’s a chainsaw involved and someone is wearing a human skin mask, you’re probably on the right track.
- How to make a chainsaw sound effect? Turn on a blender and scream.
- How to escape a family of cannibals? Run really fast. Or become a really good cook.
So, there you have it. A brief overview of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. Remember, if you ever find yourself in the Texas countryside and see a house made of bones, just keep driving.