Chicago: Where Parking Meters Went From Coins to Controversy
A Quarter for Your Thoughts (or a Dollar for Two Minutes)
So, you’ve heard the rumors, right? That Chicago straight-up sold its parking meters. Like, the whole lot. Imagine waking up one morning to find someone else owns the spot you’ve been eyeing for years. That’s basically what happened to the Windy City.
Let’s rewind to 2008. Chicago was facing a budget crisis that would make a squirrel hoarding acorns look like a minimalist. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and the city fathers (or mothers, let’s be inclusive) decided to turn their parking meters into a cash cow. Enter Chicago Parking Meters LLC, a group of investors who were clearly feeling very generous that day. They forked over a cool $1.15 billion for a 75-year lease on every single parking spot in the city.
A Deal Gone Sour?
Now, this wasn’t your average garage sale. Critics called it a terrible deal for the city. Prices skyrocketed, and people started treating the meters like personal punching bags. It was like a real-life game of whack-a-mole, but with more rage and less fun.
But hey, the investors are laughing all the way to the bank. They’ve already made back their initial investment plus a hefty profit. And they’ve still got six decades to go! Talk about a golden goose.
The Real Cost of Convenience
So, next time you’re cursing those parking meters while frantically searching for change, spare a thought for the people of Chicago. They’re living proof that sometimes, convenience comes at a price. A very, very high price.
How To... Parking Meter Edition
- How to avoid a parking ticket: This one’s easy. Don’t park illegally. Or, you know, try parallel parking without looking like a contortionist.
- How to make money from parking meters: Become a psychic and predict where the parking enforcement officers will be. Or, you know, invest in a time machine and buy up all the parking spots before 2008.
- How to deal with rising parking costs: Carpool, use public transportation, or embrace the joy of walking. Or, you know, move to a city with free parking.
- How to find a parking spot: Arrive early, be patient, or learn to park like a ninja. Or, you know, invest in a teleportation device.
- How to survive a parking meter crisis: Keep your cool, avoid road rage, and remember that it’s just a car. Or, you know, buy a bike.