How Much Does The Houston Astros Train Guy Make

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Bobby Dynamite: The Train Conductor Who Could

So, you’ve seen him. You know who I’m talking about. That guy up there in the train, waving and making faces like he’s auditioning for a mime troupe. He’s the king of the Minute Maid Park catwalk, the conductor of the outfield express, the one and only Bobby Dynamite. But have you ever wondered: How much does this guy actually make?

How Much Does The Houston Astros Train Guy Make
How Much Does The Houston Astros Train Guy Make

The Million Dollar Question (Or Not)

Now, I’ve done some digging. I’ve consulted psychic squirrels, analyzed tea leaves, and even interviewed a particularly knowledgeable pigeon. And the consensus is… we don’t really know. It’s like trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop – a question that has plagued humanity for generations.

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One theory is that he’s a secret billionaire, using his train-driving gig as a elaborate cover for his real job as a master jewel thief. I mean, have you seen the way he handles those controls? It’s like he’s piloting a spaceship, not a glorified kiddie ride. Maybe he’s just really good at negotiating his salary.

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The Perks of the Job

Regardless of his paycheck, Bobby Dynamite has undoubtedly got the best job in the world. Imagine getting paid to wave at people, wear a cool uniform, and have a front-row seat to every Astros home game. It’s like winning the lottery, but without the taxes.

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Plus, he’s probably got an unlimited supply of peanuts and Cracker Jacks. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want a lifetime supply of those?

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How to Become the Next Bobby Dynamite

Okay, so you’re convinced that train driving is your calling. Here’s a quick guide to get you started:

  • How to get a job as a train driver? Unfortunately, there’s no direct path to becoming a Major League Baseball train driver. Start by getting a job at a local amusement park or zoo.
  • How to wave like a pro? Practice in front of a mirror. Lots of arm movements, big smiles, and maybe even a little dance.
  • How to handle the pressure? Remember, millions of eyes are on you. But don’t let it get to you. Just keep waving and enjoy the ride.
  • How to deal with the fame? Expect to be recognized everywhere. Be prepared to sign autographs and pose for pictures.
  • How to negotiate a good salary? This one’s tricky. Maybe try offering to bring your own peanuts and Cracker Jacks?

So, while we may never know the exact salary of Bobby Dynamite, one thing is for sure: he’s living the dream. And who can blame him?

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