Trump Tower: More Expensive Than Your Ex's Taste in Shoes
So, you're wondering how much it costs to live in a gilded cage, er, I mean Trump Tower? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this is about to get pricey.
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| How Much Is Trump Tower Nyc |
A Gold-Plated Price Tag
Let's be honest, if you're considering buying a place in Trump Tower, money is probably the least of your worries. You're probably more concerned about whether your pet goldfinch will have enough room to spread its wings. But for the rest of us mere mortals, let's just say it’s not cheap.
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Think of it this way: Trump Tower is like that one friend who always orders the most expensive thing on the menu, then insists on splitting the bill. Except in this case, you're the one footing the entire bill.
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Now, for the juicy details: The price of a Trump Tower apartment can vary wildly depending on size, location, and whether or not it comes with a built-in tanning bed. But let's just say that if you're looking for a one-bedroom, you'll probably need to sell a kidney (or two). And if you want a penthouse with a view of Central Park, well, you might as well start robbing banks.
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More Than Just Bricks and Mortar
It's important to remember that when you buy a Trump Tower apartment, you're not just buying a place to live. You're also buying into a lifestyle. You'll be rubbing elbows with the elite, or at least people who pretend to be elite. And let's not forget the unparalleled opportunity to brag to all your friends about living in the same building as a reality TV star turned president.
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But seriously, if you're considering buying a place in Trump Tower, make sure you have a solid financial plan in place. And maybe consider buying a lottery ticket first. Just in case.
How to... Trump Tower Edition
- How to afford a Trump Tower apartment: Win the lottery, inherit a fortune, or discover a previously unknown oil field.
- How to impress your friends with your Trump Tower address: Invite them over for a gold-plated champagne toast.
- How to survive living in Trump Tower: Develop a thick skin and a love for reality TV.
- How to decorate a Trump Tower apartment: Hire an interior designer with a penchant for gold and marble.
- How to avoid being recognized as a Trump Tower resident: Wear a disguise and carry a fake ID.
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