Chicago Street Cleaning: A Love-Hate Relationship
Let’s talk about something that’s as predictable as the Chicago wind – street cleaning. You know it's coming, but it still manages to catch you off guard. It's like that friend who always promises to call back but never does. Except, instead of a friend, it's a giant, noisy machine that forces you to move your car.
When Does This Torture Happen?
The City of Chicago has a peculiar obsession with cleanliness, or at least with the appearance of cleanliness. So, from April to mid-November, get ready to play musical chairs with your car. That's right, folks, street cleaning happens once a month. A whole month! You’d think they'd hire an army of sweepers to get it done quicker, but apparently, they enjoy the dramatic build-up.
The Dreaded Orange Signs
And then there are those infamous orange signs. They pop up like unwanted guests, announcing the impending doom of your parking spot. It's like a cruel joke played by the city. You’re thinking, "Great, just what I needed, another thing to stress about."
How to Survive Street Cleaning
Now, you might be wondering, "How on earth am I supposed to survive this ordeal?" Well, I don't have all the answers, but I can offer some tips:
- Become a Human Calendar: Mark your street cleaning day on your calendar, set alarms, and maybe even sacrifice a small animal to ensure you remember.
- Embrace the Walking Lifestyle: If you live close enough, consider walking or biking. It's good for your health and the environment. Plus, you can pretend you're in a French movie.
- Make Friends with Your Neighbors: Carpooling or borrowing a driveway can be a lifesaver. Just don't get involved in a neighbor feud over parking.
- Master the Art of Street Parking: If all else fails, become a pro at finding free street parking. It's like a real-life version of Frogger.
How to...
- How to find my street cleaning schedule? Check the Chicago Department of Streets and Sanitation website.
- How to avoid a ticket? Move your car according to the posted signs.
- How to vent about street cleaning? Join a neighborhood Facebook group.
- How to become a street cleaning expert? There's probably a support group for that.
- How to appreciate the clean streets? Look at the bright side – at least your street is clean. For now.