Raccoon Rendezvous: A New York Nightmare
So, you've got raccoons. Congratulations, you're officially a New Yorker! Joining the ranks of those who've had their trash cans tipped over, their gardens raided, and their sanity challenged by these masked bandits. Don't worry, you're not alone. In fact, there's probably a raccoon convention happening in your backyard right now.
Raccoon Reality Check
Let's face it, raccoons are basically tiny, furry burglars with an insatiable appetite for everything from your gourmet garbage to your grandmother's prized petunias. They're like the Zoolander of the animal kingdom – "So hot right now." But unlike Derek Zoolander, they don't have a good fashion sense.
Raccoon Raid Prevention
So, how do you outsmart these masked marauders? Well, it's not as easy as it sounds. You can't just call Ghostbusters and say, "There's a raccoon in my attic!" (Although, that would be pretty awesome).
- Secure Your Sanctuary: This means raccoon-proofing your home. Seal up any potential entry points. We're talking chimneys, vents, and any other holes they can squeeze their little bandit bodies into.
- Garbage Guerrilla Tactics: Those flimsy plastic bins are no match for a determined raccoon. Invest in heavy-duty, raccoon-proof garbage cans. Or, get creative and use bungee cords, bricks, or even a strategically placed garden gnome to deter them.
- Food for Thought: Don't leave food out. This includes birdseed, pet food, and even fallen fruit. It's like putting up a neon sign that says, "Free Buffet!"
- Call in the Pros: If all else fails, consider calling a professional wildlife removal service. Just make sure they're licensed and humane.
Raccoon Relocation: A Risky Business
Important Note: Relocating raccoons yourself is illegal in many places, including NYC. It's also not very humane. These critters are territorial, and they'll likely just end up causing problems for someone else.
Raccoon Revenge: The Ultimate Showdown
Okay, so you've tried everything, and the raccoons are still partying in your backyard. It's time to get creative. How about a water sprinkler system that activates when it senses movement? Or maybe a motion-activated scarecrow that looks like a particularly terrifying New Yorker? Just kidding (kind of).
Remember: The best way to deal with raccoons is to prevent them from becoming a problem in the first place. So, be vigilant, be prepared, and most importantly, don't let those masked bandits get the best of you!
How To... Raccoon Edition
- How to keep raccoons out of your attic? Seal up any potential entry points, and consider using a raccoon-proof attic vent cover.
- How to deter raccoons from your garbage? Invest in heavy-duty, raccoon-proof garbage cans or secure your existing cans with bungee cords or bricks.
- How to protect your garden from raccoons? Fence your garden, use scare tactics (like sprinklers or motion-activated lights), and remove food sources that attract them.
- How to clean up raccoon mess? Wear gloves and protective gear, disinfect the area thoroughly, and dispose of waste properly.
- How to find a professional raccoon removal service? Check online reviews, ask for recommendations, and verify the company's license and insurance.