How to Get a Speed Bump in Your NYC Street: A Crash Course in Bureaucracy
So, you've finally had enough of your street turning into a NASCAR track. Cars whizzing by like they're auditioning for Fast and Furious, pedestrians dodging bullets (okay, maybe not bullets, but you get the point). You're tired of being a human speed bump. It's time to fight back with the ultimate weapon: a speed bump. But how do you go from dreaming of a peaceful street to actually seeing one? Let's dive in.
Step 1: Gather Your Troops
You're not alone in this battle. Find your fellow speed bump enthusiasts. Organize a neighborhood watch group, but instead of looking out for suspicious characters, you're on the lookout for speeding menaces. Create a group chat, a Facebook page, or even a good old-fashioned block party. The more people you have on your side, the louder your voice will be.
Step 2: Document the Madness
It's time to gather evidence. Start taking videos of cars speeding. Get creative: Slow-motion videos of cars flying by can be surprisingly dramatic. Take pictures of near-misses with pedestrians. Keep a log of incidents. This will be your ammunition when you finally confront the powers that be.
Step 3: Contact Your Elected Officials
Your local councilmember is your new best friend. Send emails, make phone calls, and even show up at their office. Politely but firmly explain your situation. Don't be afraid to share your horror stories of close calls. Remember, they work for you.
Step 4: Engage with the Department of Transportation (DOT)
The DOT is the gatekeeper to speed bump heaven. You can contact them directly, but be prepared for bureaucracy. It's like trying to get a straight answer out of a politician. But don't give up! Keep pushing. There are online portals and forms you can fill out. You might as well practice your patience while you're at it.
Step 5: Be Persistent
Getting a speed bump is like raising a child: it's a long, arduous process filled with ups and downs. There will be setbacks, delays, and maybe even a few rude bureaucrats. But don't give up. Keep the pressure on. Remember, every speed bump is a small victory for pedestrian safety.
How to... Speed Bump Edition
- How to gather support? Organize your neighbors, create a group chat, and spread the word about the speeding problem.
- How to document speeding? Use your phone to record videos and take pictures of speeding cars.
- How to contact your elected officials? Find their contact information online and reach out via email, phone, or in person.
- How to navigate the DOT? Use the online portal or contact them directly to submit a speed bump request.
- How to stay motivated? Remember the safety of your community and the satisfaction of a job well done.