How to Get Your Hands on a Houston Trash Can: A Hilariously Helpful Guide
So, you’ve finally reached the pinnacle of adulthood: you need to order a trash can. Congratulations! You’re officially a grown-up. But don’t worry, this isn’t rocket science (although, given the current state of some people’s trash cans, you might think otherwise).
Step 1: Realize You Need a Trash Can
This might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people let their trash pile up until it resembles a small mountain. If you’re reading this, chances are you've hit your personal Everest. Good for you! It’s time to take action.
Step 2: Embrace the 3-1-1 Lifestyle
This isn’t a secret agent code or a new workout craze. 3-1-1 is actually the number you need to dial to request a trash can. It’s like calling a trash can fairy, but without the glitter and fairy dust (and probably without the speed).
Step 3: Prepare for the Wait
Ordering a trash can in Houston is like waiting for a table at a popular brunch spot on a Sunday – it might take a while. So, grab a good book, binge-watch your favorite show, or start a new hobby. Just don’t let the trash pile up again.
Step 4: The Great Trash Can Delivery
When the day finally arrives, it’s like Christmas morning, but with less excitement and more... well, trash. Your new best friend will be delivered to your curb. Treat it with respect. Name it if you want. Just don’t let it become a home for unwanted critters.
Step 5: Master the Art of Trash Can Etiquette
There are rules, people! Don’t overload it, don’t put it out too early, and for the love of all things holy, please, please, please bag your trash. We don’t want to see your old pizza crusts.
FAQ: Trash Can Shenanigans
How to get an extra trash can? If one can just isn't cutting it, you can usually request an additional can through the 3-1-1 system. Be prepared to pay a small fee for this luxury.
How to dispose of large items? Houston has a bulk waste pickup service. Check your city's website for specific guidelines and schedules.
How to deal with a broken trash can? Report the broken can to 3-1-1. They'll usually send someone out to replace it.
How to keep animals out of your trash can? Invest in a sturdy lid or consider getting a bear-proof can. Or, you know, move to Alaska.
How to recycle in Houston? Houston has a recycling program. Check your city's website for details on what can be recycled and how to properly sort your recyclables.
