So, You Wanna Be a Taxi Driver? Let's Talk Drug Tests
Alright, so you've decided to join the glamorous world of taxi driving in the Big Apple. Kudos on your career choice! You'll be dodging potholes, aggressive pedestrians, and the occasional existential crisis about the meaning of life. But before you can start picking up fares and sharing life stories with strangers, there's a little hurdle to jump: the TLC drug test.
The Dreaded Drug Test
Let's be honest, drug tests are about as fun as a root canal while being tickled with a feather duster. But fear not, dear reader, I'm here to guide you through this ordeal with a touch of humor (and hopefully, some helpful information).
First things first, you need to schedule your drug test. It's like planning a dentist appointment, but with less drilling and more pee. To book your appointment, you can either:
- Call LabCorp: Dial their magical number, 1-800-923-2624, and navigate through their automated system. It's like playing phone tag with a robot, but hey, at least you'll have something to complain about to your friends.
- Walk-in: If you're feeling spontaneous and enjoy queuing, you can visit one of the seven TLC-approved walk-in locations. Just remember, patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to drug tests.
Tips for Surviving the Drug Test
- Hydrate: Drink plenty of water. Not only is it good for your overall health, but it can also help flush out your system. Just don't overdo it, or you'll spend the entire test in the bathroom.
- Avoid Substances: This might seem obvious, but it's worth mentioning. It's probably best to steer clear of any substances that might show up on a drug test. You know, the usual suspects: weed, coke, ecstasy, and that weird stuff your friend swears is harmless but probably isn't.
- Get a Good Night's Sleep: A well-rested body is a happy body, and a happy body is less likely to freak out during a drug test. Plus, you'll be better prepared to deal with the joys of driving New Yorkers around.
FAQs: How to Schedule Your NYC TLC Drug Test
How to schedule a TLC drug test appointment?
- Call LabCorp at 1-800-923-2624 or visit a TLC-approved walk-in location.
How much does a TLC drug test cost?
- The drug test fee is $34.
How long does it take to get TLC drug test results?
- Results typically take approximately 3 days.
Where can I find a list of TLC-approved drug test locations?
- You can find a list of locations on the NYC OpenData website.
What should I bring to my TLC drug test appointment?
- Bring your TLC receipt, DMV driver's license, and the drug test fee.
And there you have it, folks! Your guide to conquering the TLC drug test. Remember, stay hydrated, get some sleep, and avoid anything that could compromise your future as a taxi driver. Good luck!