Houston: The Underwater City (Just Kidding, Mostly)
So, you've heard the rumors, right? Houston's about to become the next Atlantis. Or maybe it's already there and we're just all really good at pretending to be dry. Let's dive into this watery conspiracy theory.
Is Houston Really Going Under?
Short answer: No. Not yet, anyway.
Long answer: Houston is, in fact, not below sea level. It's actually sitting pretty at around 50 feet above it. But here's the kicker: it's sinking. Yes, you heard that right. Our fair city is gradually doing a slow-motion dive. It's like watching a really boring episode of "Titanic" but without the Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why is Houston sinking? Blame it on the groundhogs, I mean, groundwater. We've been sucking it up like there's no tomorrow to quench our thirst and water our lawns. The ground, being the grumpy old man it is, is responding by collapsing in on itself. It's like a really dramatic teenager slamming their door.
Houston: The Groundhog's Revenge
This whole sinking thing is a bit of a problem, especially when you consider that sea levels are also rising. It's like a one-two punch to the city's face. But fear not, Houstonian heroes! Engineers and scientists are working hard to find solutions. They're like the Avengers, but without the fancy suits and superpowers.
So, will Houston eventually be underwater? It's possible, but let's not panic just yet. We've got time to build some sweet underwater condos and start practicing our dolphin calls.
How to Prepare for a Underwater Houston (Just in Case)
Okay, let's get serious for a second. While Houston becoming a water world is highly unlikely, it's always good to be prepared. Here are a few tips:
- How to build an underwater garden: Invest in some really long extension cords and waterproof seed packets.
- How to communicate with fish: Start practicing your dolphin clicks and whistles. You might be surprised how many people will join in.
- How to ride a seahorse: Practice balancing on a really bouncy ball.
- How to find Nemo: Get a really good pair of goggles.
- How to survive on seaweed: Stock up on sushi.
So there you have it. Houston might not be Atlantis yet, but it's definitely got a bit of an aquatic personality. Let's just hope it keeps its head above water (pun intended).