Is it Going to Snow in Los Angeles? A Hilariously Hypothetical Exploration
Let's talk about something as likely as a Kardashian with common sense: snow in Los Angeles. Picture this: palm trees adorned with snowflakes, surfers in wetsuits and snow boots, and the Hollywood sign looking like it's been hit by a particularly enthusiastic flour bomber. Sounds like a scene from a fever dream, right?
The Big Chill in La La Land
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hey, smart guy, we all know it doesn't snow in LA." Well, hold your horses, skeptical reader. There's a first time for everything, right? Maybe aliens will land and bring a mini-ice age with them. Or, hear me out, the Earth's core might decide to take a nap, causing global temperatures to plummet. Okay, maybe those scenarios are a bit far-fetched. But hey, stranger things have happened.
When Will the Snow Fall in LA?
So, when exactly can we expect to see the Valley girls building snowmen? Well, according to my highly scientific (read: completely made-up) calculations, it'll happen right after pigs learn to fly, and just before politicians become honest. So, you know, any day now.
How to Prepare for a Los Angeles Snowstorm (Just in Case)
Okay, let's get serious for a second. Even though the chances of snow in LA are about as likely as finding a quiet spot on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, it's always good to be prepared. Here's a quick guide to surviving a hypothetical LA snowstorm:
- Invest in a solid surfboard with snow tires: Because why not?
- Learn to make snow angels in a bikini: It's a skill that will definitely come in handy.
- Stock up on sunscreen and sunglasses: You'll need to protect your skin from the glare of the snow.
- Master the art of igloo building with palm fronds: Innovation at its finest.
- Practice your best "Frozen" impression: You'll need something to do while you're stuck indoors.
How To... Series (Hypothetical LA Snowstorm Edition)
How to make a snow angel in a bikini: Find a snowy spot, strip down to your swimsuit, and gracefully flop onto the ground. Bonus points for adding glitter.
How to build a palm frond igloo: Gather a bunch of palm fronds, weave them together like a basket, and hope for the best.
How to surf in the snow: Attach a surfboard to your feet, find a steep hill, and go for it. Helmet optional.
How to make a snow-flavored margarita: Mix tequila, lime juice, and snow. It's probably not going to taste good, but hey, you'll be the talk of the town.
How to survive a polar bear attack in LA: Move to Australia.
