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Surviving the Subway: A Beginner's Guide to Not Getting Eaten Alive
So, you wanna conquer the NYC subway? Brave soul! It's like stepping into a concrete jungle where the rats are bigger than your dreams and the rush hour is a contact sport. But fear not, intrepid explorer, I'm here to equip you with the bare essentials to survive this subterranean adventure.
Tip: Revisit this page tomorrow to reinforce memory.
Tip: Stop when confused — clarity comes with patience.
Tip: Skim only after you’ve read fully once.
Tip: The middle often holds the main point.
What Do You Need To Ride The Subway In Nyc |
What You Actually Need to Ride the Subway
Let's cut the crap. You don't need a subway survival kit, a hazmat suit, or a PhD in subway etiquette. Here's the lowdown:
- A Fare: Whether it's an OMNY tap or a MetroCard swipe, you gotta pay to play. Just don't tap your card like you're trying to start a car.
- A Map (or Your Phone): Yeah, yeah, we all have phones. But trust me, there's something oddly satisfying about unfolding a paper map and pretending you're Indiana Jones.
- Your Wits About You: This is the most important item on the list. You'll encounter characters straight out of a Wes Anderson movie, and you'll need to navigate through a maze of questionable smells.
Optional But Highly Recommended Items
- Earbuds: Because listening to the world's greatest hits is infinitely better than listening to the world's greatest coughs.
- A Book (or Your Phone Again): Time flies when you're avoiding eye contact with your fellow passengers.
- A Sense of Humor: Let's face it, the subway can be a comedy goldmine. Just don't laugh too loud, or you might become the next viral video sensation.
Subway Etiquette 101 (or How Not to Be That Guy)
- Stand Right, Walk Left: It's like a cosmic law. Follow it, or prepare to be judged by the entire carriage.
- Mind Your Volume: We all love a good chat, but save the life story for your therapist.
- Don't Hog the Pole: Sharing is caring, especially when you're clinging to dear life on a swaying train.
How to Navigate the Subway Like a Pro
- How to Avoid Rush Hour: Simple: Don't. But if you must, arm yourself with patience and caffeine.
- How to Decode Subway Signs: It's like learning a foreign language, but with fewer vowels.
- How to Find Your Exit: Follow the crowds, or use your phone's GPS. Just don't end up in New Jersey.
- How to Deal with Strangers: Pretend you're on a silent meditation retreat. Or just stare at your phone.
- How to Survive a Subway Delay: Bring a good book, download your favorite podcast, or practice your deep breathing.
Remember, the subway is a rite of passage for every New Yorker. Embrace the chaos, and you might just find yourself enjoying the ride.
Happy commuting!
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