A Knight's Tale of Urban Transit
So, you're wondering what mode of transport a knight, of all people, would encounter in the concrete jungle that is New York City? Well, buckle up, because this is about to get interesting.
The Horse and the Highway
First things first, let's get this straight: horses are not exactly commonplace in NYC traffic. So, when our gallant knight does manage to bring his steed into the city, it's usually for a very special occasion, like, say, a medieval reenactment in Central Park. But even then, the poor horse has to contend with honking taxis, double-decker buses, and the occasional errant hot dog cart. Talk about a culture shock!
Subway Surfin'? Not Quite
You might think a knight would prefer the majestic steed to the underground, but trust us, the subway is a whole different kind of adventure. Imagine a knight in full armor trying to squeeze into a rush hour train. Or worse, trying to explain to the conductor why he needs a horse to swipe his MetroCard. We can only imagine the chaos.
Yellow Cab or Carriage?
Now, this is where things get a little more plausible. A knight, with his penchant for grandeur and all things shiny, might actually prefer a yellow cab to a horse-drawn carriage. After all, a taxi is basically a modern-day chariot, right? Plus, it's got that whole "arriving in style" thing going for it.
The Pedestrian Knight
Let's not forget that our knight is also a human, and sometimes, even knights need to walk. Imagine the sight: a knight in full regalia, casually strolling down Fifth Avenue. People would stop in their tracks, phones would come out, and the next viral video would be born.
How to... Knight Your Way Through NYC
- How to find a stable in NYC: While not as common as Starbucks, there are a few stables in and around the city. Your best bet is to check online or contact local equestrian groups.
- How to explain a horse to a parking attendant: This one's tricky. Good luck with that.
- How to order a horse-sized coffee: Again, tricky. But you could try asking for a "venti extra extra large".
- How to avoid pigeons mistaking your helmet for a giant seed: This is a real problem. Consider investing in a bird-repellent helmet.
- How to fit a suit of armor into a taxi: This is a question for the ages. Maybe just wear the armor on the subway?
So there you have it, a knight's guide to navigating the Big Apple. It's a world away from jousting tournaments and damsels in distress, but it's definitely a story for the ages.