So, You Wanna Get to the Big Apple?
New York City. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of, and rents are also made of. It’s a place where you can find everything from world-class culture to a slice of pizza that will haunt your dreams (in a good way). But how do you actually get there? Let’s break it down.
Flying High
If you're not a fan of long car rides or train journeys, flying is your best bet. New York is served by three major airports: JFK, LaGuardia, and Newark. JFK is the biggest and busiest, LaGuardia is closer to the city but can be a bit of a nightmare, and Newark is in New Jersey, so it’s technically not even in New York.
Pro tip: If you're a budget traveler, Newark might be your friend. But be prepared for a slightly longer journey into the city.
Train Tracks and City Lights
For those who prefer a more leisurely pace, or simply enjoy the journey, taking a train to New York is a classic option. Amtrak offers service from various cities across the country, and it can be a really pleasant experience. Just don't expect to arrive looking like a fashion model. Train travel can be a bit of a wrinkle inducer.
Hitting the Road, Jack
If you're the adventurous type and love a good road trip, driving to New York can be an epic experience. You'll see parts of the country you've never seen before, and you can stop for as many questionable roadside attractions as you want. But be warned: New York City traffic is a whole different beast. It's like a thousand angry squirrels fighting over a single acorn.
Otherworldly Options
For those who want to make a grand entrance, consider these less conventional options:
- Teleportation: Still in development but worth keeping an eye on.
- Hoverboard: Great for avoiding traffic, but watch out for pigeons.
- Hot Air Balloon: Romantic, but not very practical for rush hour.
Remember: No matter how you choose to arrive, New York City is a city that never sleeps. So be prepared for a whirlwind of excitement, noise, and overpriced coffee.
How-To FAQs
- How to survive the New York subway: Learn the map, hold on tight, and don't make eye contact with anyone.
- How to order a bagel like a New Yorker: Just say "everything bagel with schmear."
- How to avoid getting lost: Use Google Maps, but be prepared to get lost anyway.
- How to find a good slice of pizza: Follow your nose (or just go to a place with a long line).
- How to experience New York like a local: Walk fast, talk loud, and always be ready for anything.