Peeing in Public: A Golden Shower of Trouble
Let's talk about something really exciting: public urination. No, really. It’s a topic as refreshing as a cold beer on a hot day. Or as refreshing as... well, you get the point.
The Price of Freedom
So, you’re in the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps. You’re strolling down a dimly lit alleyway, and nature calls. Loudly. The urge is overwhelming, like a tidal wave of desperation. You look around, no bathrooms in sight. Just a fire hydrant, a tempting dumpster, or maybe a particularly inviting wall.
Before you succumb to temptation, let's talk about the price tag. In the concrete jungle that is New York City, relieving yourself in public can cost you a pretty penny. We're talking a cool $50 fine. That's right, fifty bucks for a quick squirt. It's like buying the most expensive bottle of water in the world, but with a much less satisfying outcome.
When Nature Calls, and the City Says "No"
Now, you might be thinking, "$50? That's chump change!" Well, let's add some context. That's enough for a decent slice of pizza, a couple of metro cards, or a really good bodega sandwich. Plus, there's the potential humiliation of getting caught. Imagine explaining your actions to a stern-faced police officer. It's not exactly a career-defining moment.
Tips for the Desperate
If you find yourself in this predicament, here are some not-so-subtle hints:
- Hold it in: This might seem obvious, but sometimes the most straightforward solutions are the hardest.
- Find a bathroom: Hotels, restaurants, and even some stores have restrooms. You might have to buy something, but hey, at least you'll have a clean conscience.
- Embrace the night: If you're out late, the chances of getting caught are lower. But remember, discretion is key.
How to Avoid a Golden Shower of Trouble
- How to find a public restroom in NYC? Use a restroom finder app or website.
- How to behave if you get caught public urinating? Be polite and cooperative with the authorities.
- How to pay the fine for public urination? Follow the instructions on the summons.
- How to avoid public urination in the future? Plan ahead and find a restroom before you need one.
- How to deal with the embarrassment of public urination? Laugh it off and learn from your mistake.
So, there you have it. Public urination: a thrilling adventure or a costly mistake. Your choice.