Snow in Houston? Are You Kidding Me?
So, you want to know when it snows in Houston? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this is a tale as old as time (or at least as old as Houston’s weather records). Let's dive into the magical world of Houston winters.
Houston: The Snowless Wonderland
Imagine a place where the idea of snow is as foreign as wearing a sweater in July. That place is Houston. While the rest of the country is bundled up like Eskimos, Houstonians are rocking their tank tops and complaining about the humidity.
It’s true, it does occasionally snow in Houston. But let's be real, it’s about as common as finding a unicorn riding a unicycle. When it does happen, it’s usually a tiny, pathetic flurry that barely covers the ground before melting into a puddle of disappointment.
Houston’s Snow Record is something like this: "Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (okay, like 20 years ago), there was a magical event called snow. People went crazy. They built snowmen that looked more like lumpy potatoes than Olaf, and kids had epic snowball fights that ended in a puddle."
When to Expect Snow in Houston
Now, if you’re planning your life around a Houston snow day, I suggest you rethink your priorities. But if you’re really that desperate for a winter wonderland, your best bet is to aim for the months of December, January, or February. Remember, I said best bet, not guaranteed.
Pro Tip: Don’t bother buying a snow shovel. You’ll have more use for a palm frond.
How to Survive a Houston Snowpocalypse
Okay, so there’s a slight chance you might experience a freak snowstorm in Houston. Here’s how to survive:
- Panic Buying: Stock up on bread, milk, and tequila. Because what else are you going to do in a snowstorm?
- Embrace Your Inner Child: Build a snowman out of sand. Or maybe a cactus.
- Plan a Tropical Getaway: Seriously, just book a flight to somewhere warm.
FAQ: Houston Snow Edition
- How to build a snowman in Houston? With great difficulty and a whole lot of imagination.
- How to survive a Houston ice storm? By moving to Florida.
- How to dress for a Houston winter? Shorts and a t-shirt. Always.
- How to make snow in Houston? You can't. But you can make a margarita.
- How to appreciate the irony of snow in Houston? By laughing hysterically.
