Is it Fall Yet? A Houstonian's Cry for Cooler Weather
Houston, we have a problem. Or rather, we have a heat problem. It's like living in a giant, humid oven, and the only relief is the occasional gust of wind that feels like a warm hairdryer on your face. I know what you’re thinking, "It's only [insert current month], what do you expect?" But hear me out.
The Endless Summer
Summer in Houston is a marathon, not a sprint. It starts in April, peaks in July (when Satan personally turns up the thermostat), and doesn’t really end until October. By then, we're all practically lizards, sunbathing on our roofs and shedding layers of sunscreen like snakes.
I've tried everything to beat the heat: ice baths, frozen popsicles for breakfast lunch and dinner, and even contemplating a move to Antarctica. But nothing seems to work. The only thing keeping me going is the promise of cooler days ahead.
When Will This Torture End?
So, when can we actually expect cooler weather? According to the experts (who probably live in air-conditioned bunkers), we can look forward to a slight reprieve around September. But let's be real, a "slight reprieve" in Houston means it might drop to a scorching 90 degrees instead of a sweltering 95.
I'm starting to think Houston's motto should be "Embrace the Heat, or Perish." But fear not, fellow sufferers! There's still hope. We can dream of sweater weather, pumpkin spice everything, and cozy nights by the fireplace. Until then, let's just focus on staying hydrated, finding shady spots, and pretending we’re on a tropical vacation (minus the unbearable humidity).
How to Survive the Houston Heat
- How to stay cool indoors: Invest in a good AC unit, keep blinds closed during the day, and consider a portable fan.
- How to dress for the heat: Opt for lightweight, loose-fitting clothing made from breathable fabrics. Cotton is your friend.
- How to stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water throughout the day, even if you don't feel thirsty.
- How to find relief outdoors: Seek shade whenever possible, take breaks in air-conditioned spaces, and avoid strenuous activity during the hottest parts of the day.
- How to maintain your sanity: Remember, this too shall pass. Plan your fall wardrobe, dream of cooler days, and find humor in the situation.