Is it Football Season Yet? A Texan's Lament
So, you're wondering when the Houston Texans are going to grace us with their magnificent presence on the gridiron, huh? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this is gonna be a long one.
The Eternal Question
Let's be honest, the offseason is a cruel mistress. We Texans are a proud people, and our football team is a huge part of that pride. So, when the final whistle blows in January, we're left with a void that's as big as Texas itself.
But fear not, fellow Texans! The NFL gods have heard our cries and will eventually bless us with the sweet sound of helmets clashing and crowds roaring.
When Do the Texans Play Again?
The good news is that the NFL season is divided into two parts: the preseason and the regular season.
- Preseason: This is basically football boot camp. It's where teams test out new players, strategies, and uniforms that are so ugly, they'd make a fashion police officer weep.
- Regular Season: This is the real deal. The games that matter. The ones that make you scream, cry, and throw things (responsibly, of course).
The exact dates for the Texans' games are usually released in the spring. So, mark your calendars for April and get ready to memorize the schedule faster than you can say "touchdown."
How to Survive the Offseason
Until then, we've got to find ways to survive the offseason. Here are a few suggestions:
- Become a Fantasy Football Expert: Sure, it's not real football, but it'll scratch that competitive itch.
- Start a Texans-themed Book Club: Discuss plays, strategies, and player fashion choices.
- Learn to Cook Tailgate Food: Practice makes perfect, right?
How To...
- How to avoid talking about football for an entire offseason: Good luck with that, buddy.
- How to prevent your living room from becoming a football shrine: Hide the jerseys.
- How to stay sane until the next season: Find a new hobby. Or just count down the days.
- How to predict the Texans' record: A crystal ball might help.
- How to prepare for the ultimate tailgate party: Start planning now.
There you have it! Everything you need to know (or not know) about the Houston Texans' schedule. Now go forth and spread the Texan spirit!