When Does Chicago Actually Bother to Sweep Its Streets?
Let's talk about the burning question on every Chicagoan's lips (except maybe during winter): when in the name of all that is holy does the city decide to sweep our streets?
The Great Chicago Street Sweeping Saga
Chicago, a city known for its pizza, deep dish, and questionable parking, also has a peculiar relationship with street cleanliness. It's like they're playing a game of chicken with Mother Nature, waiting to see who will blink first: the city or the autumn leaves.
The Official Story: According to the city, street sweeping happens from April to mid-November, weather permitting. Weather permitting is a fancy way of saying "when we feel like it." Because let’s be honest, Chicago weather is as predictable as a toddler's mood swings.
The Reality: You'll see a street sweeper about as often as you see a unicorn. But when you do, it's like a freaking parade. People stop and stare, jaws drop, children point and exclaim, “Look, Mommy! A street sweeper!”
So, How Do I Actually Know When My Street is Getting Swept?
Ah, the million-dollar question. Well, you could try staring out your window hoping for a miracle. Or, you could be a responsible adult and check the city's website. But let's be real, who has time for that? Your best bet is to keep an eye out for those pesky orange "no parking" signs. If you see one, move your car. It's like a reverse game of hide-and-seek with the city.
The Dark Art of Street Sweeping Avoidance
- Pro Tip: If you live on a side street, you're probably safe. Street sweepers seem to have a preference for the main drags.
- Bonus Tip: Invest in a really good pair of sunglasses. That way, you can pretend you didn't see the "no parking" sign.
- Advanced Tip: Become a hermit. Problem solved.
How to...
- How to find my street sweeping schedule? Check the Chicago Department of Streets and Sanitation website.
- How to avoid a street sweeping ticket? Pay attention to the orange signs and move your car accordingly.
- How to cope with Chicago's street cleaning situation? Embrace the chaos, or move to a city with cleaner streets.
- How to become a street sweeping enthusiast? Question your life choices.
- How to summon a street sweeper to your block? Unfortunately, there's no magical incantation. You're on your own.