Is Chicago Ever Going to Warm Up? A Cry for Help
Chicagoans, we have a serious problem. A serious problem. It's called summer. Or, rather, the lack of summer. I mean, I know we’re known for our four seasons, but this is getting ridiculous. It’s like Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke on us and said, "Hey Chicago, let's skip straight to autumn, shall we?"
The Endless Wait for Warmth
I’m starting to think that the groundhog saw its shadow and then immediately went back to bed for another six months. Or maybe it’s just planning a really long hibernation. Either way, we’re the ones suffering. We’re wearing sweaters in June, for crying out loud!
I’ve tried everything to coax the sun out: sun salutations, pleading with the sky gods, even offering sacrifices of deep-dish pizza (although that was mostly for personal gain). Nothing seems to be working.
When Will This Nightmare End?
The real question is, when will it get hot again? I’m starting to consider buying a one-way ticket to the Bahamas. Or maybe just investing in a really good space heater.
Until then, I’ll be here, shivering in my apartment, dreaming of the day when I can actually wear shorts without hypothermia setting in.
Any tips on how to survive a Chicago winter in July? Because I’m officially out of ideas.
How to...
- How to survive a Chicago summer that never comes? Embrace layers. Lots of layers.
- How to pretend it's summer in Chicago? Watch beach movies, eat ice cream, and dream of warmer days.
- How to find warmth in Chicago? Seek out indoor activities, like museums, hot yoga, or your oven.
- How to convince the sun to return? Offer sacrifices of deep-dish pizza (or at least bribe it with some).
- How to cope with the endless wait for summer? Plan your next vacation to a warm destination.